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Health Forum    Respiratory Diseases
Health Discussion Forum

 Why are people avoiding me?
I have terrible hayfever and am sneezing all over the place. Everyone's avoiding me... Why is this?...

 I can barely talk this morning any ideas to help my voice come back a little bit?
I have to be to work a hour and a half and my job consist of talking on the phone. I have already missed a day and half because of this really bad cold I have. I am very congested and I cant stop ...

 What are your opinions on Smoking?
I just want to know your opinions on it.. I don't want you to answer "eurgh it's disgusting.. it kills you!"- We all know this. And if you wan't mentioning if you do or do ...

 What causes young people to start smoking?
I'm just curious as to what could possibly cause junior high/ high school students to start smoking. Especially with all of the information out there.
So... why?...

 If you have Hay fever are you likely to get Asthma?
i get occasional hayfever everytime i go outside i get a blocked up nose, red eyes and nower days i get breathless when i walk to school i'm only 16. Will i get asthma when i'm ...

 I cant breath!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Actaully i can but that was just to get ya guys attetion but i have a problem breating tho it start after i start working out and swimming

what is the probelm?

my naiso passege ...

 whats the most dangerous disease known to man?

 Is it ok to smoke weed every weekend?
Ive been smoking every weekend for about the last three months.....Is it really that bad? I am 16 and a female. I enjoy it a lot and it makes me happy. Please give me some health risks and advice or ...

 Smoking, Why do people start?
It just confuses me so much, it really hit me when i first found out there are 4,000 chemicals in one ciggy On of them being tar.

I hate the thought, Absolutly despise of the thought of a ...

 if i smoke 1 cigarette will it do much damage?
just a wonder....

 What do you pay for cigarettes?
A guy at work already pays $6.25 a pack, are they that high? Newport's in the ...

 My Chest hurts when i breath deep!?
Somtimes i move a certain way and i get very bad pain in the left side of my chest and my back. It's not really bad unless i take a deep breath and it takes about ten min to go away. However, if ...

 Im Bulimic and cough up Blood. How bad is that?
Ok so like i have this problem and i dont know how to stop it. I sorta have like a bunch of problems with myself and fainted at a field trip when i got de-hydrated. I feel bad for myself, so how big ...

 When falling asleep sometimes i 'forget to breathe'??
When falling asleep sometimes its as if i forget to breathe and wake up taking a big gasp? It doesnt happen much, just when ive hhad a lot of things on my mind, like i sometimes get it when im awake, ...

 day 2 off the smokes!!?
i'm feeling really proud of myself right now, its hard but worth it, anyone got any tips on making things run alittle smoother?...

 people always cough around me?
when i am out or at places people always sneeze and cough its really irritating. I shower everyday where deoderant wear clean clothes and this always happens. Does anyone have any advise?...

 I've tried everything to stop smoking - nothing seems to work...?
any suggestions?

thanks so much

Michel in Montreal Quebec C...

 effects of smoking weed!?
My boyfriend's brother is a regular smoker of weed, but he told me the other day that my boyfriend had been smoking it too and that it hadn't really had any effects on him. He asked whether ...

 Is it bad to eat a lot of cough drops? I LOVE THEM!?
So i have a stuffy nose and i was like ok dad lets go to the store so i can get some stuff for me cold.And i am in LOVE with cough drops and this is my first itme eating cough drops this year.But i ...

 What is smoking cigarettes like?
What does it taste like

How does it make you feel....etc :)...

If you were dying would you feel it wrong to distance yourself from family to save them grief over your loss?
Serious answers please?

If you and your family are close knit, yes, it would definitely be wrong. You wouldn't be saving them grief over you dying-you would actually be causing them more grief by not spending your remaining time with them. You have to realize that we grieve for a reason-without the grief process many people would find it impossible to get on with their own lives.
So my friend,if you find yourself in this situation, enjoy what time you have left with your family and friends, and let them enjoy and love you while they still can. While its true that they will grieve, you know as well as I that it would be much worse if you deny them your presence while you are still alive.

everybody has their idea on the way they want to go,if this is youre way then let the family know....that way they can spend time with you b4 you start to shut them out....

I don't think there is any right answer to that question. I can understand where you would want to spare family the grief but they also just want to spend as much time as possible with their love one.
Personally, even when I am sick, I want everyone to know...but want them to keep their distance.
Yeah I know, not a direct answer. Closest that I can come to one.

jennifer g
No absence makes the heart grow fonder, it will only make it harder on them they"de be forever wishing for more time spent with you before you passed on. Good luck, buy the book natural cures they don't want you to know about, and live by it it helped me and a friend. I"ll say a prayer god bless!!!

I had an uncle who never told us that the doctors told him that he was going to die in 3-6 months, and we somehow found out when he went into the hospital 4 months after this prediction was made. However, during the months we had left together, he never wanted to be around. This made us angry when we found out the situation, and then when he passed away, it just made us even more sad than the other deaths my family has had to go through.
I know the situation for you is probably a little (or maybe a lot) different, but I hope my story helps.
Just let your family know, because everyone will be happier in the end.

I think it is a little selfish and mean of you to seriously consider this. I think you can tell by the answers above that it would not in any facet, lessen their grief, and may add to it, as they would then have to deal with guilt over their anger at you also.

Leave this behavior to the lower animals.

You may, however, find that some friends/family will distance themselves from you, in their confusion and beginning stages of grief, they may not know how to handle it, and will go into avoidance mode.

yes gramal brother may be dyeing and he has become a shut in it becomes more grif enjoy the time you have with them

I feel that it would be VERY wrong to separate yourself from those who love you. To do so would make their grief worse.

Yes it would be. You need family around you as you pass away. Try to be always surrounded by your love ones.

God bless

Yes, I feel it would be wrong. I just spent the past year taking care of my terminally ill Aunt and while it was difficult at times, I would not have had it any other way! 10 Years ago I went through the same thing with my Mother and again, had I not been right there with her, I would have felt horrible.

First off, why would you want to deprive your loved ones of whatever time you have left? They love you. They are going to grieve once you are gone anyway, so you won't be sparing them anything but causing more pain to them by taking yourself away from them sooner. They are also going to feel horrible that you were not with them when you passed.

Having just been through this a few months ago, my advise to you is enjoy all the time you can with your loved ones. You have the chance to be able to tell these people exactly how you feel about them before you die,(unlike someone who dies unexpectedly) so take the opportunatey to do so.

If you are up to it and able do special things with them leaving them with good and happy memories and giving yourself something to smile about also. I'm sure you could use something to put a smile on your face.

My Mom bought us cards to write us her own personal little good byes in with special memories for each person, and once she passed we found the cards. Those cards meant so much to all of us it was unbeleivable.

Once your health starts declining don't feel that you are a burden on your family. YOU ARE NEVER A BURDEN TO THOSE WHO LOVE YOU! Let them take care of you and do whatever it is they offer to do as long as they can.
There are hospice nurses, I'm sure you know that already but if not please ask your Dr. about them, that will come to your home and help you and your family with whatever you need medically.

But please, don't leave your family any sooner than you have to. Like I said, they are going to grieve anyway so why take yourself from them any sooner than you have to.
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this and wish you and your family the best. Enjoy all the time you have left with those you love!

Gypsy Girl
Nothing will save them from grieving for you. The best thing you can do is to spend as much time with them as possible. If you distance yourself, they may hurt even more. Spending time with them gives them a chance to say goodbye. They will grieve less if they get that chance.

NO!!! That would just be missed time for all. Distance doesnt change the way you feel about loved ones.

Humming Bird
It would be worse for your family if you distant yourself from them them. They would feel so heart broken it will just be so much grief for them. Why would you want to put them through that? If your dying let them cherish you and comfort you as much as they can. You wouldn't want to be away from them anyway. Your family loves you and they will be with you till the end. Please don't take that away from them. Once your gone they will grieve for you forever whether you distant yourself or not. Just be with your family and enjoy what you have left so they can carry those memories of your in there heart. I lost my father 2 1/2 years ago and I miss him so much like it was just yesterday. I will say a prayer for you. God Bless you and your family!

I think it is wrong to distance yourself because that only makes things worse. That is time that your family missed out on and they need it to say good-bye. No matter what you do they still will have grief over losing their loved one, that will not change.

Yes, no matter how you distance yourself thier love for you isn't going to change. Spend as much time together as you can.

We are born dying.. so no....I wouldn't even consider it.

I don't think I would distance myself from them, in fact, I think I would seriously consider telling them about it because they have a right to know. They are going to grieve over you no matter what - whether you are close to them or not because they love you.

I can truly say that i understand where you are coming from, but PLEASE do not deny your family this precious time that you have left. It will be even harder for them if you don't tell them before. You need their love and support right now and believe it or not they need this time to say things that are important to them and yourself. PLEASE think this over very carefully. There is no second chance. Good luck and you are in my prayers.

Lunita del Sol
They're still going to grieve no matter what. I wouldn't distance myself from them. I'd try to enjoy my limited time with them.

Yes, because they will grieve anyway so why give them any more pain than they would need . And i couldnt distance myself i would want to spend as much time with my children and family as possible

I Bleed Black & Gold
no,i would spend every minute i could with them.i do understand what your saying though.they will grieve no matter what.

I think that would be the wrong thing to do. I also think it is very selfish. You would be denying them the chance to share what little precious and special time you have left. I think distancing yourself would be more hurtful to them than your death.

Don't you think that's alittle selfish to want to leave. Its not fair to you or to them. Stay and let them spend time with the person that they love. When you are gone they will have to deal with there lost forever.

No, I would MAKE them be around me all the time. They will get much more grief if they don't know and you die than if they did know and got to spend your last days with you. They love you, remember that. You would want the same thing if one of your loved ones were dying.....so return the favor. Hopefully you are not dying though....good luck though

speaking from experience, don't even go there !!!!
if your dying, get the family involved and share what remains of life, it could be a wonderful time in their lives and time they will cherish for-ever !
put their minds at rest that life will go on, it's a time to enjoy and make a lasting impression on what you feel about the situation.....i.e. your fears,your thoughts, your misgivings and possibly your expectations for their future.

i hope you comprehend what i'm trying to say !

a loss of life is sad,..........but only as sad as you make it !!!

best wishes........

Yes it is wrong, they won't stop loving you or forget you, they would just be very sad that they didn't have the time with you they could have had to make more memories to say the things that may otherwise be left forever unsaid or unasked or unanswered. make the most of your time left creating love and laughter.

It would be selfish to not give your family the CHANCE to "see you off". Grief is a normal part of life and if you are not allowed to experience grief, you cannot experience healthy development thoughout the rest of your life. Everyone experiences it differently. It would not be right to take it into your own hands to determine what would "save" your family from a natural healing process of grief. The "saving grace" would really be in granting them the ability to grieve in their own way. Don't take it away from them. It would not be saving anyone.

If my partner or close relative was dying I would like to spend as much time as possible with them & If they distanced themselves from me I would be more upset

Honestly, if I was dieing I would do whatever it took to make myself feel better. Whether that be being selfish or thinking about the well being of others after I pass on. It's the end of your life, do what you can to be as happy as possible before you go.

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