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MarkMyWords
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You can't really stop yourself from grieving, it is a natural process that you have to work through. There are five recognised stages of grief. These are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and then Acceptance. I hope that this helps you. |
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sarah j
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you don't things just get a little easier.I have lost 2 people i adore my dad and a little girl of 6 years.I just remember happy times i had with them.
PS i am sorry for your loss x x |
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Prime Time
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life can be cruel i know but everybody has to deal with a loss...put it this way whoever has left your life and went to heaven...they will be waiting to see you when it's your time...i hope i've helped |
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Char
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Allow yourself to grieve. Time will help you.
Best wishes |
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Megbo
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I dont know that you ever stop grieving. I think you just get on with your life. My dad passed away a year ago. Its hard.There is so much I needed to say to him.He died to days after i went home. So i think he was waiting to see me .But you have to go on.All i know God only gives you what you can handle.Thats what i've learned in my year and half without my daddy..... |
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lo_mcg
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You can't hurry the process. You don't get over a loved one's death, but you do get used to it.
I lost my mother to cancer 25 years ago; I still miss her and think about her often. But I smile far, far more often than I cry when I think of her, as I do when I think of my father and sister, who died more recently, 8 and 5 years ago.
I promise you that one day it will be like that for you. |
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starrjan2874
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you NEVER stop grieving, but you do eventually learn to live with the grief. i lost my dad 10 years ago, he was only 50, and i was 23. we were very close. i was devastated. it took me time, but i found that by talking about him to my daughters and friends and family,helped. i try to tell the stories about him that are stories he told to me, and the stories that remind me of the person he was. by carrying his stories and his spirit with me and sharing my memories of him i feel like i am keeping his spirit alive in my own way. i still miss him terribly, everyday, but i remind myself that he is in a beautiful place where there is no pain. i remind myself that he would not have wanted me to spend my own precious time mourning for him, he would have wanted me to enjoy my life as much as possible. it will not get less painful, but you will get more able to deal with the loss as time goes on. i hope this eases your mind a bit, and that you find your own way to honor the one you lost. |
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nj2pa2nc
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You never really stop greiving-especially if it is someone close to you. My father passed away almost 4 years ago. I think of the good times we had as I was growing up. It helps. |
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Simmi
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It takes a long time. What I do know is that if you ignore your feelings it gets worse. The next crisis in your life is colored by the death you didn't allow yourself to grieve. Find time to cry, talk to family and friends. If you don't have that, join a grief support group. It is a slow process to feel better. Talk to a picture of the person who died (I do. It helps). Tell them what you would have told them if they were here. In time, you will notice that you are calmer, and little by little you are willing to join the world again. |
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betty b
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Honey, you never stop grieving, you just learn how to deal with it.I know this sounds weird, but a part of us ,that has lost someone-does`nt want to let go-we don`t want to totally lose them.In grieving we "hold" on to them, so don`t stop grieving, just learn how to deal with it. Good Luck.I `ve lost many dear to me. |
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Pamela V
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You don't.
You get through it, stage by stage. It takes time, years - usually. Then one day you will realize that you can talk about the person without crying. |
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Tarkarri
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We all grieve in different ways.
We don't stop grieving when we loose someone - we just learn to deal with the grief and move on.
Each of us finds our own way to deal, our beliefs are often a huge help here.
Think about what you believe, reincarnation? heaven? nothing? ........<insert your preferred option here>
Now compare that option with what the person was facing here on earth. Chances are, given you are posting here, that they were dealing with cancer. End stage cancer is not a pleasant thing to go through. It is usually pretty easy to believe that whatever they experience after death - even nothing - would be better.
So that leave your grief as grieving for yourself, for your loss, for the fact that you miss them and the times you shared together.
Remember the good times, think about them with joy, laughter and fondness. Talk about them with others who knew them and keep their memories alive. Depending on your beliefs, maybe they are still with you and you just can't see them.
The grief does ease with time, but how you chose to deal with it, will effect how long it takes to ease.
Personally, I believe that those I truley care about, and who care about me, will never be far from me. With both my parents, my family decided on cremation and scatering ashes in the wind. Now whenever I do my dusting, I smile as pretend it is just my parents dropping by for a visit!
Good luck |
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Missy
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its a process it just takes time so go through the steps and it will get better just give it TIME |
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zedekiah77
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It's ok to grieve...it's not a weakness. As someone else said, there are five stages of Grief (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, 'On Death and Dying' developed that thesis) and its perfectly ok to go back and forth in the stages for a while. Sometimes...you may even feel happy - so don't beat yourself up or feel guilty when your mood goes up - and other times you will be angry again, or doing the 'if only's' and 'deal making' (the stuff where you say: if I did this, was this, it wouldn't have happened).
The way to stop grieving is to let it happen and run its course. It will take time and I know that right now that isn't a comfort to you - but it will lessen, and the pain will ebb. Things won't be the same, but they will continue on.
Remember there are a lot of people out there who are going through this sort of thing...and that you aren't alone. If you have someone to talk to, or need a counsellor...do it. Do whatever makes you feel a bit better...no matter what anyone thinks. And if anyone ever tells you to pull up your socks and get on with things (as my own mother did two weeks after my partner died)..tell them to fvck off. You deal with it as YOU need to deal with it. Good luck. |
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penel67
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you never will it just get less and less as time goes on i don't think anyone ever stops greiving all together that's what makes you human |
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mightyginger
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you need to talk.the nurses or your doctor should be able to help you.its important to keep talking, and have lotsa hugs from friends.it really is going to be ok. you really can get through this.sometimes antidepressants help too.. HUGS |
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