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 how do i stop greiving?

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Would this be inconsiderate?
My uncle was diagnosed with lung, colon, and liver cancer. He was given 1-2 weeks to live. He and my aunt keep mentioning, that they will not see their 50th anniversary. It is next month. Would it be inconsiderate to "celebrate" it now? They have been together actually for 55 years. I suggested it to my MIL and she says it would be a thought, but neither of us is sure on how to approach it.

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no but get a proclimation from your mayor too...the icing on the cake.

Karen D
That is a very considerate gesture. You have to remember that lots of people are told their "death date" and you hear many stories from people with the same illness say they went years living. But in this case, do what you feel is best for your family. Ask your aunt if she would be comfortable with it. It sounds like a good idea to me.
Hope I helped.

Elaine B
Yes by all means. It will be good for all who attend. Their last rememberance.. Go for it. ... Good Luck.. Elaine

so sorry to hear about your uncle. yes celebrate!!! that's not inconsiderate its extremely thoughtful!!! get the whole family together and surprise them.

I say do it. As much as you can make somebody smile in those final days, it helps. Take his mind off of it. Just be sensitive and don't mind if he falls asleep in the middle of the party. Also, don't make it a real party...just some close people who he'd want to see. too many would be overwhelming.

Do it. You will regret "if only we had done that". It counts, both now and later.

Bake some cupcakes (keep it light) and put a candle in each one.

If they are saying they are not going to see their anniversary, I think it would be very nice from you to tell them lets celebrate today, because any day is a good day to celebrate such a big thing. If I were he, I would be very happy for my wife too.

It is rare for a doctor to proclaim such a short life expectancy. Why not have cake everyday to celebrate happy and if the anniversary date comes....celebrate even more. Good luck!

It sounds like a good idea to me. I think you should just do it!

No it won't be inconsiderate, its a great idea actually. Give him the fullest to enjoy, let him know all the joys including his marriage to the woman he loved for 55 years. I think its great. Don't let him remember painful sad thoughts like they're already at a funeral before he dies. Don't remind him that he's dying.Let him die happily.

I have had cancer, all though I think it is a wonderfull and thoughtful idea. I would take it as a sign you have given up on me, that you know I will not make it till my anniversary. You know your family better then any of us. How much pain is he in? do you honestly think he wont make it? Will having his family and friends around together one last time be a blessing to him? Only you can answer this. Will he take it as a sign to give up. Or be a happy celebrating event?

I think it is a wonderful idea. Life is what you make it.

My mom was D.A. with pancreatic cancer 1 day after hurrican Ivan hit our area. She did well until until oct 05. That is when we decieded to celebrate Her and Dads anniversary that is in NOV. and Christmas.WHO cares when you celabrate as long as you do. My only child was very close to her grandmama. Child's birthday is 12/22. Mama died 12/21/05 ...the eve of my daughters 8th birthday. Your post has brought back some sadness and alot of joy. Your family has alot to prepare for and yesterday is when ya should have started. Life is short ..LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST! CELEBRATE EVERYDAY ! God Bless you and your Family. Your Uncle and Aunt are in my prayers.

i think its not incosiderate, it was nice of you to think of it. u are very thoughtful...try to run by it to your aunt first, if she thinks its okay then go for it....

Sounds like a great idea! Talk with your aunt about it.

Everyone should make something and go to their house and celebrate...make a fake calendar and pretend it's their anniversary. Have it be a surprise.

If your Unncle is aware of his situation...then he may well be aware that he may not be here for his 50th anniversary......He and his wife should certainly share the years they have had together and the joys of having family around them WITHOUT all the mourning that is to come.....let them have this memory....let them share their love with their family while they still can TOGETHER.

Yes, yes, celebrate now. Buy a cake, don't put a number on it-just celebrate.

Try a small "celebration of life" get together instead.

call it a "celebration of your lives"

lots of family photos
their favourite songs
stories of how much they mean to all of you
thanking them
photo story 3 is an easy program to put music and pics on a CD so they can be shown on a lap top especially if he is real sick It will be easier for him to see.
Make sure you clear this with the closest family members because everyone grieves in their own way and tempers tend to get on edge in these situation,
some people may not have accepted the death fully
you are a very thoughtful person

I think that would be the sweetest thing & if you can't get other family members to come than oh well at least they wll know that you cared enough.That really is a wonderful idea

do it!!! get everyone together and just go over there and celebrate an accomplishment that is a very rare thing today. the actual date is just that, a date. 50 years should be recognized and celebrated. they will love and appreciate it.

go ahead, and have it early, just do it like you would if you were having it at the right time.

As for your uncle, he's not dead yet, so tell him, not to always believe what the doctors say, to just keep on hoping, and living life happily., and to never, ever give up hoping, it's when you give up, is when you lose.

Well next month or not, it is 50 years (55 actually) one month does not make or break the milestone .... since he really has only a matter of days, it would certainly be appropriate to have some sort of celebration of his life - and obviously 55 years with your aunt is a huge part of that life .... They might appreciate a family gathering while he is still able to enjoy it. Talk to your aunt - be prepared to host the entire thing, as she should focus on spending her time with him and not worrying about making food etc.,
Be certain to acknowledge the anniversary when it does come ... I have learned from experience that people do not want these things forgotten.
Good Luck.

Your uncle is obviously very ill and most likely cannot tolerate lots of people or any type of party. I have to wonder what you had in mind re: 'celebrating'.... Is he in the hospital? Could you have 7 - 10 of the closest people visit him, with your aunt, and give them cards and perhaps a few happy stories. A stroll down memory lane, so to speak. However, don't stay long, don't make him tired and leave on an upbeat note.

no it would not be inconsiderate it would be like a dying wish. do it for ur uncle ur aunt and u let him die a very happy man.

I think totally okay, and very thoughtful and healing! Dying is hard for everyone but i believe it's better to face it and enjoy whatever you can.

If he only has 1-2 weeks left to live, I'm not sure they'd be in a party mood. An anniversary party might backfire in that it could just reinforce for them that they will never celebrate another anniversary together again.

Just spend as much time with them as you can, that would be my suggestion.

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