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Health Forum    Cancer
Health Discussion Forum

 Can you just ask your doctor for a mammagram at 30?
It don't believe it's standard at 30 with an HMO that they will do one. But with people getting cancer so young these days I want one! And does one mean they can find ANY lumps you may have?...


 What can I do at 17 to prevent getting breast cancer one day?
I am 17 and breast cancer runs in our family. Now that I know that I have a chance of getting it I would like to prevent it. What can I do on my part?

...


 can men get breast cancer?
can men get breast cancer?
my pecs hurt after i work ...


 if you have breast cancer and don't know you have it. Does your breast hurt? OK, if my let breast hurts does
that mean i have breast cancer?...


 i think i may have breast cancer, or is it just a cyst?
today i felt a lump on my breast whilst in the shower. it is quite painful so im worried. it is just bigger than a 50p peice, i can move it a little bit and its quite smooth. is it likely to be ...


 Can I get lung cancer from a very dusty home?
...


 Is it true that if you write on your self with a pen, your killing brain cells?
My fried keeps telling me that its true. If it is I've must have killed A LOT of brain cells....


 what is haematology? ?
...


 does tanning beds eventually give you skin cancer?
iv heard even if you dont use the tanning bed very often you can still get skin cancer is it true?...


 Is it cancer please help ?
have a pea sized lump in the back of my throat. It doesent hurt but it really irritates me. I am 13 years old and went to the doctor today with my mum as i have been having some problems with my ears-...


 my 11 year old daughter with cancer gets picked on bad! help!?
She's 11. What do i do? She use to be very very popular til she got cancer. Kids are hateful when she lost her hair she has to wear a beanie or a bandanna on her head. One day some kid took her ...


 What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of cancer?
I'm starting a t-shirt line and for one of the designs im putting a bunch of words on the shirt. Whats the first word that comes to mind when you think of ...


 has the cure for cancer been found?
cause i searched it on google it was found i just came here to to make ...


 cancer question??
can u get cancer if fire flashes at u?...


 why don't they reduce the chemicals in cigaretes?
...


 What problems do you face when returning to ‘normal’ life after cancer treatment?
Hearing from you via Yahoo! Answers helps us to gather information about the types of support you need charities like us to offer. For example, people tell us the impact of a cancer diagnosis doesn�...


 i have cancer given few days to live its termanal pleas help im blue?
ok heres the strory aboute a guy that lives in the real world no time to cry because nobody will listen they all dont care if ill die they just wont listen to understand that blue i am they rather i ...


 Genetic testing: Could this tell if I'll get breast cancer in the future?
...


 how long can you live with type 4 lung cacer?
...


 Can eating ice cause cancer of the throat?
please answer my ...



Macmillan Cancer Support
What steps can you take to help children understand cancer and its effects?
If it has affected your friends and family, how can you ensure that children are prepared for the changes cancer can make to their lives? Have you found that children prefer to be given all of the facts about cancer’s possible side effects upfront? Children can cope better with a parent’s cancer if they are told what’s going on in a way that they’re able to understand. We have guidance about the steps you can take to help your children understand what’s happening to you and help you through this difficult time: http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Livingwithandaftercancer/Relationshipscommunication/Talkingtochildren/Talkingtochildren.aspx or call us free on 0808 808 00 00.
                      








Andy
Bring in some victims who overcame it barely, let them describe in exaggerated terms the kind of things they had to endure.

Make sure they know all the causes and other symptoms of smoking and sunlight etc.


T_Y_R_A
Rating
Tell them they will be bald.


David C
Rating
Unless you stop posting here I will never give you money ever again!


Bek=]
i think they gradually learn about it as they grow up, i dont think its the kind of thing you want a child to worry about when they are young.


gangadharan nair
Rating
As a first step, children should be brought to the nearest cancer center and they should make acquaintance with other children suffering from acute lymphocytic leukemia.


bigtuk
I am positive that this is not the sort of question Yahoo answers was set up for. Anyone who needed to find the answer would have done so with a simple search in Google or similar.


J
learn more about it in school throughout, primary to secondary.


sandra t
anyone should know the truth...


John R
if thier really young say to them that mommy or whoever could be going to heaven soon if thier old enough to understand but young enough they dont really understand about death yet sensitivley explain to them about cancer and death and tell them that whoever it is has cancer and if thier teenagers they'll already understand


glassman
Children, of a dieing parent, have no comprehension of what it is that is kiling their MUM or DAD. They know what death IS (in their own way - just as we all do) however the word "CANCER" bears no revelelance. Adults themseleves are or can be ignorant of any cancers, but will in the meain atribute cancer to DEATH, which of course is not always the case. The most important thing, in my view, is when or when NOT to tell a child (or even the cancer infecfted person) that they do indeed have cancer or any other life threatening illness. I for one, would rather not know.... .... I would much rather LIVE than to fear my death! I would much rather be DIE, without knowing, than to be told that I AM dieing . . . ,. . . much the same for any child, of a "dieing parent". The time to discuss such maters, in my mind, is after their such parent has or has not died.

My own father waas given six weeks to live . . .

. . . I counted each and every day until the last and that was HORRIBLE for "ME", (let alone HIM!). He lived for a further TEN YEARS! And so my advice would be say NOTHING, but explain later. For CANCER is not a death sentence unless it kills . AMEN


clink
Rating
I think it is best to just give the most basic information, e.g. "Mummy is very ill and needs to go to hospital". Obviously it depends on the age of the child.

I wouldn't sit down and give all the in's and out's.... just answer the childs questions honestly and without giving much more than the child is asking... no biology lessons... just keep it simple.

When the child has digested that information, they may come back with more questions... then answer those questions.


Caylenne
Rating
Pretty much the same as everyone else has said.. tell them the truth, but be tactful with it. Don't use big scary words, just tell them the facts.


Jaynie
Rating
I had a friend who's mum had breast cancer. She got told everything because the mother felt she was lying to her if she didn't. My friend was only 6 at the time, and basically she told her she was ill, and she would lose her hair and she could end up "going away" , but none of it matters because she will still be there for her , even if she isnt with her.


Belle
create powerpoints and have speakers go into school to explain cancer. Obviously change the language used, imagery and extent of explaination to suit the audience as primary children will probably not have a clue what cancer is, and will need to be introduced to it on a basic level with basic termanology. However, by high school many children are aware of the term cancer and what it is, but sometimes will still need to know some facts along with extra information at a more grown up level and way of presenting it to them. Speakers could be nurses, scientists, family members who have lived with someone with cancer and a person who has or has survived cancer.


Lo
I think teens + are able to process the concept of someone having cancer much more easily given they will have a greater understand of what illness etc is, a younger child doesn't have this and it is difficult to make them understand the implications it may have. I think it's important that any child is given the facts e.g. Mummy hasn't been feeling very well as there is some bad bugs in her tummy and they're making her sick. The doctors are doing everything they can to make her better.' It's important to listen to the childs fears and concerns regardless of age, don't assume they don't understand what's going on. I don't think it would be a good idea to lay the news on thick, I think it's a good idea to build up an image of the illness gradually to help the child process the information. As with many things around the home if something bad happens a child may automatically assume responsibilty, the same can be said for a family member falling ill. It's important to make a child understand that this is not their fault and also to involve them so they don't feel like they are being pushed away. Trying to 'protect' a child from the impact of cancer will leave them feeling alone & unsure of what is happening.


Katyâ„¢
Rating
Every child is different. A few years ago, my uncle was diagnosed with cancer (I'm not sure what type it was) Obviously his daughter (my cousin) was told (she was 26 then) But I was not. He had 10 weeks to live. He died of the eve of my 18th birthday. As I wasn't told, It came as such a shock to me (we had been very close when I was younger) that I couldn't face seeing anyone except my parents for weeks. Even, to this day, I believe that, if I had been told before he died and had a chance to say goodbye, I wouldn't be as sad as I am now. I think people should take this story into account, because it honestly changed my life terribly, not knowing. RIP x


nanny 1
Rating
what ever age the children are they should always be told the truth. It can sometimes be difficult for adults to talk to children with out getting upset themselves. However, kids have a right to know whats going on and will thankyou long term. The best way to handle upsetting situations is to be honest.


raw
Most children are intelligent and need to be kept in the picture. Not blow by blow, just that the person is very ill and may go to heaven, this, if a young child. Older children eg.teens need to be consulted and told the bald truth, it gives them time to absorb the news and come to terms with it, and most importantly say their goodbyes so there is no guilt or regret.


kendra27UK
First off I am truly DISGUSTED at some of the immature answers here. WHERE is your respect?
How dare you be so utterly sub human! There are people here who have gone through this, ARE going through this. MACMILLAN has a RIGHT to ask questions on here and I wish to god they had been online like this when i was going through Sht with my mum and her terminal renal cancer.
I say they should KEEP asking and asking and helping until cancer is no longer an issue!
My mum wouldn't have had the care she needed without these people! They are also a charity and rely on donations. They get little help from the government, they also are sometimes the only people to turn to when NHS carers can't pick up a bloody bin for *health and safety*y reasons or can't work more than 5 mins over their time. Macmillan help an awful lot of people in their dying days so lets hope those of you with nasty comments NEVER had to sit in your own sht at 40, being in THE worst pain you could EVER come across while staring into your child's face knowing you will never see them again! I was 21, my sister 22 and my youngest sis JUST 15 when my mum died, my grandmother watched her own daughter take 6 months to die. NOT a nice thing to EVER want to see.
YES I AM passionate about this. Personal experience of 3 deaths in the last 5 years will do that to a person.

Second, Im sorry you had a bad time Glassman but having come from personal experience on this as well, I believe children SHOULD know. They are not blind and will know something is up. Obviously scaring kids with a 6 weeks to live scenario is not a great way to deal with it but neither is lying to them, they have no chance to say goodbye and then one day mum or dad is simply dead!
I feel children should be told of things BUT appropriately for their age.
There is also never an exact time, doctors are never sure because there isn't a sure answer. My mum was told 3 months and made it to 6.
There are ways to tell kids what is going on without doing what it quite obviously did to you.
It also also depends on the child. I am and always have been someone who wants to know everything beforehand, so I can think on things and help myself when sht hits the fan!
You also take away a childs RIGHT to say goodbye. There may be things a child wishes to say and let their parent know.

I think the best way to help a child is be honest about things, but be age and personality appropriate. You can also tell them that there are some things that are not certain like the time it takes for someone to go. (best to keep the drama out of the talk with the child)
I would ALWAYS want someone to tell me what is going on AND I would pass that respect on to any of my children.


LCaitlink
i am 17 but my cousin is only 12, one of her friends is currently suffering from cancer. we talk a lot and when she told me about her friend she didn't really understand what was going on or what could happen. i wasn't sure how she would take it but Googled it and we just found out everything we could. i was worried she might not cope but i was prepared to take that risk, once she understood what was going on she found it much easier to talk to her friend and other friends about what was going on and what could happen, her friend found it much easier to talk to her as she was someone her age who actually had some understanding of what was going on, their friendship has blossomed because of this and since then her condition has deteriorated but they are still strong friends and my cousin doesn't get upset about it because she understands what is going on.

from this experience i believe that it is best to be honest with children and not underestimate what they understand, i feel that without the knowledge of what could happen my cousin would have found the whole experience more upsetting as she would have known what was going on.


Milly
When I was seven my mum had cancer (im not too sure what cancer it was exactly, however it was something you could remove), so she had an operation to remove it, there was a 1 in a 1000 chance anything could go wrong. She was that 1. She died. I'm 14 now, and I still miss her every single day. RIP mummy :'(
I only recently found out that her death was cancer related. it infuriated me that none of my family had told me the whole story, they'd just tried to change it.
I would have liked to know why she was having the operation, and why it went wrong. I only got those answers when i finally confronted my dad saying "how did mum die?"

I think that children should definatly be told whats happened because if I knew, i wouldn't have been so worried when they told my dad there was a 5% chance she'd live.
Because I know that cancer is something that can kill you. When she had her operation, i thought it was just her tonsills out or something.

I hope that children get taught about the cancer there parents have got, heck, my aunty works at the royal marsden in london in the childrens cancer ward, and half of them dont even know whats wrong with them.


Ianthe
I Am 13, And just recently in science, My teacher found cigarettes on a student, she ripped the cigarette up and lit it with a Bunsen burner, she covered it with a clean white filter and left it to burn, after it had finished and was totally cold, she showed us the cloth type filter, It was dark and awful, I Have and do smoke myself, and i must admit it put me off.
Miss Commented;
"And this is only a cloth, what's it doing to your insides?"
*I think that this was a very effective way of demonstrating smoke damage.*


The Original Highbury Gal
Rating
Children are far more resilient than us adults give them credit for, when my mum was diagnosed with Terminal Lung cancer in December 2006 my sister wasn't to sure if she should tell my younger Nephews exactly what was wrong with their Nan as they were both still quite young, however my niece was 10 and spent a lot of time with my mum before she got Ill and even before we found out she had cancer my niece knew something wasn't right, she knew from the hushed whispers and the family gatherings and the way her Nan looked that she wasn't well.
My sister decided to tell her that mum had Lung Cancer, she didn't go into graphic detail and use big medical terms, she told her that nanny was sick and that the doctor would try to make her better if he could.
My niece was brilliant, she would lie in bed with my mum and read to her or just hold her hand and she used to like brushing Mum's hair it was amazing to watch a 10 year old just carry on as normal when the rest of us crumbled like a house of cards.
2 days before my mum died she took turn for the worst and we contacted her Macmillan nurse who came out to see her and told us that she was really poorly and that it might be best to get all the family together, my sister wasn't sure if my niece should be there at this point in time, Mum's nurse said to let her stay as removing her from the situation would upset her even more.
Mum passed away on the saturday, my niece was in the house but not in the room when mum went
we did let my niece say goodbye to mum a little while later, she laid down on the bed and held my mum's hand and told her how much she loved her and would miss her and that the cancer couldn't hurt her anymore.
Children are not silly and I think that they should be told the truth, you don't have to scare the living day lights out of them but don't lead then into a false sense of security, my niece knew that my mum wasn't going to get better but she knows that not everybody who has had cancer will not survive.
Be as honest as you can with a child and don't be afraid to answer their questions .


jay x
Rating
Tell them straight out but simplified. Don't go into the chemo and all the drugs etc.

e.g. "Jess, Mummy is very sick just like the time ("eg..you had chicken pox) but a lot worse. She has to take a lot of medicene and won't be as fun as she normally is.

then when you know that this person sadly isn't going to make it, it becomes sensitive and you should do it based on how your child reacted to the changes/being told about this illness.

You should tell them whenever you tell your partner/mum/dad.


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