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thanks i need more its for my ...

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How many times do you get up or wake up?
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How do you respectfully tell your Grandma it is time to live in a nursing home?
My grandama had a stroke 2 years ago we had her in assisted living for the last 2 years. However last month she fell down and fractured her hip and now she has to be in a wheelchair. The staff think she has gone past the type of care that they offer at assited living and she needs more of a 1 on 1 nursing home to tend to her.
She is very stubborn and hates the fact she has to be in assited living to beguin with, she thinks she is the temproraily and will be back to her old life pre-stroke but this is untrue. One time I accidently asked how her nursing home is and she got angry and said don't ever cal lit that and hung up on me.

How do I let her know that we need to move her to this new place.. She is not going to take it well.
Additional Details
She lives in Florida, and thinks where I live is too cold. So moving her up with me is not an option. We also sold her condo, to help pay for the assitance.

Please do not tell me to Grow up like one of you did. I hope you are never faced with htis type of decision!

You don't!!! Have you seen how nursing homes treat people? I guess not or you would not even think of putting her in one. Why didn't you keep her condo and hire someone to care for her? You are one selfish person, how many of your shitty diapers did your grandmother change? When people get older and need your help you do not put them away!! Why did you not care for her after her stroke? That person is the reason you are here today and you want to discard her like old news. You are truly one selfish person, How long has she been in this world? How much longer does she have? You cannot give up any of your time for your GRANDMOTHER!!! Our Grandmothers love us, nurture us and teach us and you want to discard yours!!! What a shame...

we should respect is our mother want or don't want. So we become her gir(or son).she dozen likes to live in the nursing home because she NEED a home and family love.

You do what you think is best for her and sit her down and tell her the best way you can and maybe she will understand!!

you don't u bit...ch she took care of u now its ur turn

I think you should turn over the decision to your grandmother. After all it's her life. Just tell her that the assisted living facility says she may not be able to live there anymore and what would she like to do. Maybe she just wants the control in her life. Try to empower her. She might be scared of a nursing home. Try to have options for her to choose from and ask her if she has any other ideas. If you are willing for her to live with you then give her that option if not don't give her that option. Do it in person. Maybe you could have some information from some other living facilities that she could look through. She may say she wants to go to a home that provides more aid. She is old not stupid, when left with the options she will make the right decision for her. Good luck. (i didn't read all the responses, I hope this isn't a repeat)

she is not stubborn,she has self-esteem.Im not telling you to grow up,but how would u feel if you were in her place.Imagine her situation.She has pride and its not bad.The fact that you percieve it as stubborness is wrong.And dont think i didnt have to face such descisions.

Trisha C
well, its difficult, ur grandma sounds like a firecely independent person and moving into a nursing home could be very upsetting to her, wat r ur parents thinking about this....well, I thik some more time's required before u send her to the nursing home....talk to her, ask her nonchalantly y she's averse to going to the home......

You must evaluate, the best place to give her a quality of life; I think, all humans have the right to live in the best conditions the rest of our lives, and in this case, its in your hands the decision.

try to explain to her that it is for her own good...

just leave her alone. let her live where she wants.

hah good luck with that. to be perfectly honest with you and no disrespect intended my father told me to kill him before i ever put him in a nursing home..some older people just arent the nursin home type..

tell her that she would feelmore comfortable and all her needs would be fufilled which is true

That is a very hard choice you have to make. I dont think anyone should have to make it, yet life makes it so. I used to work in the nursing home, as a food server in the dining room. If you find a very very good nursing home I think it would be ok. The nursing home I worked at was very classy. Yet, all places have bad employees. My place was full of them. Partialy due to the point that most nursing homes treat thier staff like crap. Low wages and poor bosses. I quit because I was treated so badly and I didnt like how some residents were being treated. Just be careful about which home you choose if that is your choice. Think also of hwo you would feel if it were you in her spot. Personally, after working in a home, I dont think its the best option, yet...sometimes there is no choice. I saw a show one time on A&E i think...it was about a nursing home that was totally different that any other. People were treated with respect and were in the hospital like rooms or anything. I thought it was in florida also...but I think it was expensive. Good luck.

frenchy 316
I think it's out of the question rude.
Your Grandma loved you, so she respected you, you should respect her.
Besides my Great Granny was in the nursing home, it wasn't the greatest place. honostly don't think you should do it.

Well what i did was to tell my grandma that its hard for u to take care of her and from the bottom of ur heart it would be best if some one at a nursing home can take better care of her. but of course thats just me and i visit her everyday causei told her i will. another thing i would do is tell her sorry and she would probably forgive u.

ashlee c
grandma go live in a nursing place plz

If u care so much about her take care of her ur self tell her its the cold or its the home. Did u hear about how they have no respect for the elderly. Y dont u think about her and stop thinkin about ur self.

It's important that you find a suitable nursiing home for your grandma because not every nursing home will meet her needs. Find a nursing home that will work with her, have people who works there that truly care, and nice atmosphere. After finding one, let your grandma know that you found a home that provides care for people in need of assistance.Allow her to take part in choosing the place and also that she feels comfortable with the atmosphere. Tell her that she will not be going back to her condo because it was sold to help pay for medical expenses.

You should bring together the adults in your family to discuss this. One or two of you should set a meeting with her primary care physician for his or her recommendations. The health care facility where she was trated for her stroke has social workers on staff to assist your family in making the right decision and discuss ways to move forward with love and respect. You don't have to figure this out on your own, reach out to the professionals who can help you -- and her, too. Good luck.

If I were you, I wouldn't do it. I would considerate an honor to care for my grandmother, especially if she is near death. I don't trust nursing homes. Remember, you reap waht you sow. One day, you're going get old one day too. Wouldn't you prefer your children or grandchildren take of you than some strangers who don't know a thing about you?

Tyler H
just tell her,"i hate to ask yoy this,but i got in a fight with your doctor,because he insisted onyou going to a nursing home ,but his arguement prevailed,so would you please go liv in a nursing home,forme"

good luck
yours truly,

Linda K
After reading all your answers I say you are selfish to even think about this. You did not say she had alziemers, you did not say anything about her mental state. Oh well, she is set in her ways she deserves to be. She also deserves for her family to take care of her. She will not last in a nursing home because she will not be taken care of. Your grandmother is the reason you are on this earth and you cannot take a fraction of your life and give back to her. She deserves better than that. These people saying they know what you are going through because they have had to deal with alziemers, you are not dealing with alziemers, your grandmother had a stroke and you can't give her love and support, thank goodness you are not my grandchild!!!!

I do not really approve of putting our elderly in a nursing home moreso if she/he recently suffered a stroke. To think about it is already disrespectful. I understand that it is very hard on your part to care for her by yourself and that you have been advised that what she needed is a 1 on 1 nurse to care for her. Maybe your grandma's irritation on being assisted is making it more difficult for you to handle the situation. Just hold on and have faith that soon she will realize that you are only concern about her and that you love her. She is probably angry not with you but with the thought that she is very useless and a very heavy burden to all of you. Please be extra patient with her.
I believe that it will be more difficult for you if you will take her to the nursing home. I think you love to being close to her rather than sending her away for other people to care for her.
Pray and you will see, things will fall into place.

[email protected]
You don't have to put her in a nursing home just make her go on social security.

you cant tell your grandma that thats so mean and selfish unless she is sick and needs to.

Stacy R
Have you spoke with an Independent living center in FL about other long term care options in florida. Many state offer home and community base options and florida is a state that have these alternative to nursing homes. If she want to stay in her own home she could hire attendent to come in that meet her needs and the waive could help purchase assistive service like a wheelchair or lift you need to contact your social service agancy and a least ask about these options before considering nursing home placement as it could just make her go down hill faster.

rachel w
have you tried home health care.

You don't put her in one. Have a nurse come and see after her. She'll be much better off. My Grandma had a stroke a few months ago, my family put her in nursing home. It's a long story but I will say it was the wrong choice. Please sit down with your family and plan other options.

Be Blessed

mz new booty
Well, I would bring her home even if she doesn't like the cold because a nursing homes have bad reputations for reason and instead of some one not treating her right I would rather have her complain about the weather all day.

I don't think there is a really good or easy way to tell her to go to one. From personal experience though I do not trust nursing homes.My great Grandfather fell out of bed at his nursing home..No one checked on him for hours..When they found him it was too late..He clotted and passed away 6 days before christmas.I am not trying to sound morbid but if you send her to one you need to check it out first. Accident rates..Death rates ect...

bye bye
I really feel for you, this is a very hard thing to go through. My family went through the same experience last year with my grandmother.

My grandmother had cancer and it basically debilated her. She was unable to walk or do any of her daily living activities.

You can try to explain to your grandmother that you can no longer provide the care for her that she requires and tell her that you are doing so because you love her and want her to have the proper care and just hope that she will understand. This will most likely be one of the hardest things you've ever done, but you are doing the right thing knowing she will have the care she needs.

Good Luck and God Bless.

P.S. I think some of these answers are pretty harsh. It is a very hard decision and people don't really understand unless they have lived through it with a loved one. There are situations when we just are not physically capable of giving the proper care to a person with sickness or illness. Try not to let some of the responses discourage you.

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