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Daisy Chain
Am i an alcoholic?
I don't think I'm an alcoholic as i don't want a drink every day but I go out every weekend and can't remember the last time i didn't roll home in drunk. Now I have black outs and people tell about humiliating things i did while drunk which i have absolutely no recollection of. It's not affecting work but i often miss other things i have planned because i'm too hung over. I'm thinking of trying AA but not sure if it will help. How can I change my lifestyle without losing all my friends? When i try to drink less people always pressure me and wonder why. Lots of my friends behave in eactly the same way and it doesn't seem to worry the but even a few friends have voiced concern about my drinking now. I'm 28 and have a stressful job and am living abroad.

My avatar's shoes suck.....
I don't think you are an alcoholic, just like your drink, like me. The things that concerns me more is that your mates question it when u dont drink. They should be cool with you whether you r on the juice or having a water. It is good to get wan***ed every now again, as long as you have someone responsible and less drunk than you to get you home ; p
Don't worry, but perhaps think bout the mates you have xxx

not alcoholic yet just immature but you will damage your liver and get very fat if you continue to binge drink..........your friends are not worth keeping if that is all they can think of doing to amuse themselves at the weekend. take controll of your life and find something else to do with your time.

Be honest--can you not drink & have a good time? Blackouts are not a good sign. Also missing out on things because you're too hung over. Don't give in to peer pressure. Real friends will not pressure you to do destructive things. Please get help for yourself. God bless.

Stop drinking before you kill your self. Your brain and liver will not work much longer at this rate. Find new friends or you be the one who isn't drunk and make fun of them when they do stupid things because they are out of their minds drunk.


Cindy Roo
Sounds like to me, you are worried about your drinking enough to ask, so there are red flags going up all around you. Does alcoholism run in you family? If so, there is your sign!!!!!! Your drinking buddies are just that, your DRINKING BUDDIES!! I come from a family of alcoholics and drug addicts and I am telling you that you are smart enough to recognize the signs and you seem to be wanting to break the cycles that have begun. You say you are 28 and have a stressful job, well honey, you don't know what stress is, until you land in jail for something you cannot recall. Please, please, please, do something NOW, before it is too late. Only you can make the changes necessary to put your life back on track. You are smart enough to figure this out, so I know you are smart enough to meet new friends and make something out of yourself. Perhaps then your job won't seem so stressful. Enjoy living abroad and learn all you can and do while you are sober. Please, please don't waste what God has given you. Do you realize how many people would love to live abroad and work and have the opportunity you have? And your choice is to be drunk and not recall what you are doing???????????? Please think about this and don't waste another 28 years of your wonderful life. And after you read this please go to a mirror and take a look at yourself and see if you love you enough to change, if not then go crawl into a bottle and take only yourself down, but not your family with you. AA cannot help unless you are willing to help yourself!!!

You're an alcoholic. You mentioned that you roll in drunk, does that mean you're driving wile drunk? Not Good! Get out wile you can.Go to AA. It can't hurt. Good luck.

Binge drinking is good if you want a greater chance of health problems in the future.
If I could do it over, I would've still enjoyed drinking but not to the point of complete shitfaceedness every time I drank....but s h i t man, make up your own mind.

nobody will care for you, only yourself and close real friends + family. you take care of yourself and if you need to change your friends to better yourself you do it. your too young to damage your liver and ruin your life. it won't hurt you to join a AA meeting- go check it out and find yourself a sponcer. it works if you work it!real friends don't pressure you to do anything. take care of yourself.

If you're only doing it because of peer pressure I'd have to say 'no' you're not an alcoholic. If you're doing it because you like to binge drink then the answer would be yes. I'd still hang out with my friends but stop letting them pressure me. You can always order coke with a lime so they think you're still drinking but you'd at least be able to make it home without any horrible incidents.

Whatever label you care to put on yourself is of relatively little importance. If you are genuinely seeking the truth to take back control of your life, don't be swayed by your present circle of boozy friends, but have the guts to seek properly informed advice from those who really know from first hand experience what they are talking about.

You'll find lots of these people from all different backgrounds, age groups and walks of life at AA, where you can also feel secure in the knowledge that everyone will be understanding, non judgemental and supportive. There is nothing that you could tell them that they haven't heard, seen or done before.

Nobody will try and force you to do anything. It's your life and at the moment, it's still your choice. If at first it doesn't press the right buttons for you, don't give up - try different meetings or telephone counselling. There's a lot to consider.

You sound like a successful person that rises to a challenge. If you are strong enough to make some major improvements in your lifestyle, there's almost certainly no reason why you can't achieve whatever result you really desire for a long, happy and positive future. Best wishes and good luck.

I wouldn't call you a raging alcoholic, but some may consider you a borderline alcoholic. At least it is not screwing up your work....yet. I don't think AA will work for you unless you truly want to change your drinking habits. If your friends are the ones that are pressuring you to do this much drinking, and it's something you don't want to do anymore, then maybe you should shop for new friends. If they care about you, they will respect your decision to slow down.

i know what you mean! i've been trying to think of more interesting things to do that involve less alcohol and less money and it's hard seeing as all my friends drink!
i have found that instead of going out, plan a night at home and do something that doesn't involve as much alcohol - i've had a film night where we cooked a meal together then sat and watched a film and we only had a bottle of wine between us (which isn't a lot for us!). i think the best idea if you're worried about your lifestyle is to try to find things that distract you from going to the normal bars and/or clubs where you'd more than likely stick to a routine. if you do something different, you might not be tempted to drink in the same way you are worried about.

i know a lot of the people who will respond to this will be critical or rude but ignore them. if you think you have a problem, you may well do. all i'd say is try to get out of your old drinking routine. if that means that some people won't be interested in hanging out with you, then who cares?! meet some new and more interesting people!

hope it all goes well!

Wicked Good
Yes, you are an alcoholic and until you are ready to admit it there isn't anything anyone on here who can do or say anything to change you.

Blackouts are a serious problem. You are drinking way too much, your risking alcohol poisoing and death, but YOU know that. You could wind up dead from the alcohol, something stupid you do while under the influence and/or kill someone else. You could wind up with an STD or raped. It is effecting your life to where you have missed things because of the consequences of your alcoholism.

As an adult you should be able to say when regardless of what friends say. Any true friend will understand if they don't then they are enabling you alcoholism as part of your codependant relationship with them. It's not healthy for anyone in your group. Already some people are noticing that your drinking is a serious problem to which you aren't able to control or say no. You're making excuses of stressful job and living abroad as reasons for your alcoholism to justify your addiction.

No one here can do or say anything to get through to you until you yourself decide to stop deluding yourself and making excuses. If your friends are with you because you drink those aren't true friends. Instead they are part of the problem.

I hope you are able to wake up and change before it's too late. I think it's sad there are people who have kidney disease, liver disease through no fault of their own or because of alcohol who would do anything to have a healthy liver or kidneys and yet you are doing everything you can to kill yours. Tell me do you think it's going to be fair that you be put on a transplant list someday when you chose to kill yourself slowly?

You need to learn to deal with your stress and underlying problems in other ways. If you can't do everyone a favor and just donate your working body parts now to someone who will care for them and appreciate them.

There are various terms that are used for people who have alcohol problems. "Alcoholic" is one, and people in AA prefer this term, but some people feel that terms like "alcohol dependent" or "problem drinker" are more appropriate.

Either way, signs that drinking is getting out of control include:

- promising yourself you'll stop, but you keep drinking
- blackouts and memory loss
- physical symptoms of withdrawal such as shaking and sweating when you feel like you need a drink
- people telling you that they're concerned about your drinking
- people not wanting to associate with you because of your drinking behaviour
- missing work, appointments or social plans because of drinking.

The Department of Health recommends that women drink no more than 2-3 units of alcohol per day. That's 2-3 shots of spirits, or one large glass of wine. Overall, women should drink no more than 14 units of alcohol. Above and beyond this and you are into "hazardous drinking" - levels which may do you physical damage. Alcohol-related health problems are affecting women more than ever before; due to the way our bodies are made we experience physical problems more quickly than men, unfortunately.

AA may help, as may other forms of alcohol/addiction counselling or treatment - but only if you're ready to change. Many people who have alcohol problems, drug problems, gambling problems or other compulsive behaviours have got themselves in a circle of friends who do exactly the same thing - that way everybody legimiates each other's behaviour. When you try to make a change, you are implicitly saying, "Actually, I don't think what we're doing is OK." Rather than stop and question their own behaviour, friends then typically apply pressure to continue with the addictive behaviour - that way they don't have to face any uncomfortable truths. The truth is that if you really want to make a change, you might have to walk away from a social group which supports your behaviour.

AA operates in many countries, and some people achieve great success with its 12 step programme. Other people find that they are uncomfortable with its spiritual approach and prefer counselling based on motivational interviewing or cognitive behavioural therapy. As I don't know what country you're in, I can't make any real suggestions for accessing support where you live other than an internet search.

Good luck!

in my experience........anyone that even has to ask "am i an alcoholic" likely is an alcoholic.

you obviously cant tolerate alcohol the way your friends can, stop being pressurised into drinking more,tell your friends your fed up of making an idiot of yourself and not remembering.
if your not an alchoholic now then you soon will be,

Change the people you hang out with along with cutting back on the drinking. If your current friends are pushing to drink more and more when you are telling them that you don't want to then they aren't very good friends. Remember, you are the one in charge of your life and decisions not them. It sounds so juvenile, but peer pressure is hard to fight. Just be strong. If you don't want to drink that much, you don't have to.

Also look at what liquors you are drinking. Certain types of liquors have bad effects on people. I knew a chick who could drink anything, but once she started with Jack or tequila she blacked out, got nasty, wasted, etc.

Ask yourself one question can you stop drinking? If answer is no then yes your a drunk. However friends don't pressure you and ask why. Are you sure you want to keep those type of acquaintances? It is all a chioce and im betting if you join AA they will tell you to quit hanging around your so called friends that pressure you to drink.

You kinda answered your own question there...

I know, I know!!!!
you are in fact an alcoholic.

If you're not drinking during the week, you're probably not an alcoholic. But if you're having blackouts, you are abusing alcohol. That could make you an alcoholic eventually - it can become a slippery slope.
I hate to break it to you, but if people can't accept you for who you are when you're sober, and don't respect your choice to stay sober if that's what you want, they're not real friends.
Everything is better in moderation. If you have blackouts and do things you regret, that's not moderate. It's bad for your health, it can lead to dependency, and I'm sure you could find something more constructive to do with your time.
I lived abroad to a couple of years back. I know how difficult that can be, because after a while, the novelty wears off, you miss home, and you come to realize you're not a tourist anymore, but you're not a local either, so you don't really fit in. Just hang in there. You'll enjoy your experience more in hindsight if you stay true to yourself and absorb as much of the culture as you can while you're there - you will come home eventually (or adapt completely and don't) Either way, it's better to take things in stride.
Best of luck to you. Take care.

if one drink/beer or 30 causes a problem- then yes you have a problem with alcohol

not measure by amount but by any amount.
and thus yes--you have a problem.

but down booze that will go away.

continue to drink and you will end up dead-others dead-lives ruined---

not worth one drop of misery to cause others misery..

there are many types of alcoholics....the main problem affecting alcoholics is their inability to control themselves when they do drink...regardless of how often you go out......missing functions and blackouts are definite warning signs though

Ask yourself this question and be honest with answer do you control alcohol or does alcohol control you if your answer is the later then you have a problem

? BlueBerry ?
you shouldn't drink 'till you drop ... know the one that's too many ...



The people who pressure you (and at your age, aren't you an adult?) aren't your friends. They're looking for someone to party with. Yes - binge drinking/blackouts is alcoholism. Try a couple of AA meetings - meet some people there and see how much fun you can have clean and sober - I've been doing it for over 21 years and I can remember all the fun!

Sara Beth
You have a drinking problem, please seek help

I don't know if you're an alcoholic, but you're DEFINTELY drinking far too much.

You're going to have to cut down, whatever your friends say.

You're going to end up dead or raped if you carry on having blackouts and making an a*se of yourself while drunk.

Sorry to be blunt, but I am genuinely trying to help.

It is not a nice thing to have to say 'I am an alcoholic' as it is quite a personal thing to each and every one of us who 'likes a drink' or ten. Blackouts - very dangerous and a sure sign that you have either reached the point or very, very close to it. Suggestion - you might miss your friends. Rubbish. Pretend to be drunk in their presence the next time they are all gathered and listen to the conversation - including what they have to say about your good self. I have not had a drink today, nor yesterday and hope not to have one tomorrow. On 21st December this year I shall be starting my 26th year on the wagon and hope never to drink again in my life. Life is now good and I truly regret the time I have wasted away from my family.......................

John S
Know your limit and stop drinking at that point.

Avoid shorts, as they can kill you (alcohol poisoning) and you can consume way way too much in a short time and theyre expensive, stick to lager and beer then you have something to drink for longer and you will have to go to the loo before you get near a critical level of alcohol.

If you drink every day and find it hard not to (I know i do) then youre beginning to get to the point where you could have a problem if you dont reign it in.

Black outs is way too much and very dangerous as you could get mugged or worse.

Drink some water with it.

Stuff your friends if they want to kill you.

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