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Health Forum    Mental Health
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 This is very personal, ashamed to share, but i am at my wits end?
My son was a good lad, he joined the army at 16, excelled, he went all over the world, doing all sorts, jumping out of planes, bull run in spain etc. I was so proud! He was posted to Iraq, excelled ...

Honestly, today I was more depressed than I have ever been... I spent a good majority of the day thinking about how I would kill myself....came up with the sleeping pill strategy . Now I feel a ...

if you live in a certain area does that number make ur phone bill go up cuz i need to know that right now please i am really thinking about suicide
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 Is money the answer to happiness?

 Will this sadness ever go away?
I have become extremely depressed, and before you say, I have already made an appointment to see my doctor. I just wanted to know if any one out there is also going through this illness. I feel ...

 Im 14 i cry over anything whats wrong with me?
its not my hormones i droped a 30p glass the other day and cryed my internet keeps going down i cry over that please help me am i dipressed or just plain stupid D: i feel horibile
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 What do you tend to do when you're the most stressed?
I go to the casino and drink.
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I only bring $20-$30 so I'm not tempted to overspend if I get a little tipsy!...

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I smoke weed about 3-5 times a week, i am 18 years old and have been doing it for afew months. There seems to be proof suggesting that its harmless and other proof saying the opposite, do you think ...

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Well I'm 15 years old and I cannot sleep and night because I have types of panic attacks cause I am terrified to die. I know people say live life to the max but I can't knowing that this ...

 What Is a Control Freak?

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ok i'm 21 and kinda feel sad all the timei have felt this was since i can remember, i would never kill myself but feel i am staying alive for other people(i prob sound full of mystelf) everyone ...

 Friend cutting please help?
My best friend is cutting herself and I'm so scared. I don't want her to kill herself I would miss her. She just says she gets so upset and cuts and pops pills. I love her and would never ...

 What the heck is wrong with me??
my life is pretty normal. i work a job that i am moderatly happy with, i am amidst making a great and exciting future for myself, my family is mostly great and i have the best boyfriend/relationship ...

Is suicide a selfish act?
So many people left hurting and wishing they could have helped!
Additional Details
I myself am not suicidal, but thanks to those who offered help and support. I am concerned about someone and know a few friends who have lost loved ones to suicide.

I never thought of it as being a selfish act, but now that you bring it up, I agree.

norma d
Yes its selfish.


I had a friend who hung his self, so i must say yes
But i have at some point thought about it myself, due to being constantly beaten as a child by my father, not a smack but punched, kicked, pulled around by my hair and thrown into walls, so i think my thoughts were justified, you don't think about others, because you want out of the situation you are in.
I am now alot older now with a wife and 3 great children, so things do get better, people will always have problems, but time will sort them out,
There is help from Dr's and a person should not be ashamed to receive help
Best wishes

I actually witnessed a suicide when I was 15, a woman jumped in front of a train at Durham station. There was about 30 or so people on that platform, including some quite young children. I was quite bitter when I was younger that I had to see that. So yes, I think it is really, unless the person has a uncurable or unbearable diease, and then I think they should have the right to end their pain. I know I would like that option if I was suffering very badly.

yes. it is selfish and mindless and very upsetting. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... I am warning you!!

Absolutely. I have been affected by a few suicides and it is so painful to see all of the people left behind that actually have to deal with the consequences. They are the ones that are hurt by it. It is one of the most selfish acts that a person can do.

van kedileri
yes it is as life is selfish

I personally think suicide is very selfish but then u get so caught up in da moment u forget about the people u love and then ur left thinkin why ***** i have done more!! what do u acually think urself r u not angry at the person who left u behind?? i certainly wud b but i am very sorry for ur loss!! x

Rachael H
Yes. I believe so.

yes. It is the most selfish act you could ever commit.

It's something you do for yourself, therefore it's selfish.
If you think that there would be "so many people wishing they could help", you must have really have pissed a lot of people off.

Yes, it seems selfish. However, a better answer is that the person who does it, does so b/c of a lack of coping skills.

Exterminating Angel
That's a hard one, really...
Not only because you can look at it from many different points of view (religion, psychology, etc), but also because I think every person who commits suicide has a slightly different outlook.

I think there are quite a few (the majority) who are just in too much pain to cope anymore. A lot of them feel they are ridding their loved ones of a burden, and helping to take away the pain. Sure, their death may cause a lot of havoc in another's life, but I don't think that's usually the intention. Quite the contrary, I think most people who commit suicide have gotten so far into their own self-hatred and depression that they're convinced they'd make the world a better place by their own death.

And then there are other people...(like me I think I should add), whose suicidal mode involves feelings of hatred toward the world, and a general attitude of vengeance. This is not to say these people aren't in pain, I think anger is a form of pain. But, I know from experience that when I feel the most suicidal I am overwhelmingly angry, much more than I am depressed...and I almost get a kick out of imaginging everyone around me that has hurt me finally understanding how upset I was and regretting not knowing for the rest of their lives. Basically, I think there really are some people who intentionally want to cause pain to those they leave behind.

So...I don't know how to answer this question. I'm really just rambling. But, I think that if I have felt that vengeance/anger before...others probably have to. I know it sounds strange to think suicide would be revenge, a way of saying "***** the world", albeit counterproductive...

So, even if suicide is not the 'Ultimate selfish act', as it's been called before...I think it can definitely be the 'Ultimate display of anger' at times.

Gary M
Yes, but if we were all born with a termination switch I think few of us would make it to old age, I think our ability to survive depends on how good we are at fooling ourselves.

Ken M
hi i do not have a problem with people killing themselves it is sad but part of what we are.what i don,t like is people who take there own lives and other,s with them. if the person who wants to die drives a car over a cliff sorry but sorrier still when they take babies etc with them that is selfish

some times i think it is a cry for help but you have to be in that possition to no i have often wondered if there was more people out there to listen and have time there would be less suicides and depression i hope you are not thinking along these lines cos i will listen if you need to talk just email me tracy x

the person is veyr much in pain and i dont think its selfish...its wrong but the person isnt thinking about being selfish but it seems it is becuase it causes pain so i dont really no...

No, not at all. It is an act of desperate, unbelievable pain. Do you not think suicidal people think of their loved ones? Of course they do. If they didn't they probably would have committed suicide a long time before.

It is when the pain of their life becomes so unbearable that even the thought of leaving loved ones grieving isn't enough to stop them. When they feel there is absolutely nothing left for them to live for, that their life is not livable. I know, I have felt close to suicide at times, and i am on my own with two children, one disabled. My life is awful, and at times I have been very close to ending it.
The only thing that stops me are my two children who would end up in care, heartbroken. I know my death would ruin their lives, having recently lost my father even as an adult I know how losing a parent can effect you.

But still there are times when I have felt close to ending it. Obviously I haven't, but I have felt very close at times of extreme stress.
Nobody would want to die and leave loved ones behind unless the pain was so great that they could not bear to live their life any longer.
It is not selfish. It is the last resort, when nothing else can relieve their pain.

This question REALLY depends on who you ask, doesn't it???...meaning there is no right answer...

If you ask someone who is suicidal..they don't usually see it as a "selfish act", as they are in so much pain, living becomes too difficult to bear.

If you ask someone who has lost a loved one through suicide the answer is usually yes, because they don't understand how someone who supposidly loved them could cause them so much hurt inside.

If you ask someone who enjoys life, is healthy in mind and spirit they will probably say yes, because they have never really experienced enough pain to understand why someone would want to leave this life....however being healthy of mind (if anyone truely is) should mean your objective and can see both sides of the story.

we could also ask is euthanasia selfish?? People often don't think so because the person has a physical disease and is in pain, therefore we think they deserve to go and stop feeling the pain...so why is mental illness not treated similarly? OK with physical illness death is pretty certain, whereas mental illness can often be treated..but not always.

When someone commits suicide people often say "the person could have been helped"...what if they tried so hard and continually were rejected?? I know I have been greatly let down by the health system and even family and friends too....therefore they did try all the roots but if your continously hit with a brick wall when ur already feeling so awful...is it fair to make that statement?

I personally don't see it as a selfish act but rather a sad one for all involved. I also dont think there is a right answer...it depends whos shoes you are in!!

So when people say think of number 1 what do they mean?

If a person feels like they are going to be happier in another place called Heaven then shouldn't the people around this person, relatives, friends etc be happy that this person is no longer suffering and is now happy??

People that commit suicide aren't cowards but truly believe there is no way out, it doesn't make them weak, because that person that has gone through the days, weeks or months maybe even years of being depressed etc will be a stronger person than a boxer in a ring by having of dealt with the how their feelings, emotions and problems. Maybe the people saying this is selfish are infact the selfish ones?

Jenny B
Some people will say it is a selfish act, but those are the people who have probably never been in a suicidal person's shoes. It's easy for people who have a great life and have never felt depression to say "yeah, suicide is selfish and stupid. get over it". I once thought that suicide was selfish, until I started feeling like I did't want to live anymore when I was 19. It's hard to keep going when you don't see that light at the end of the tunnell. When you are completely alone and your future seems hopeless, you start wondering what the point of living is. I do not think suicide is a selfish act, but I do not think it is the answer. I almost committed suicide, but I didn't, and my life turned completely around and I have never been happier. Anyone who has suicical thoughts shouldn't give up on life, because you never know what the future has in store for you!

the act is not commited in the reasoning to be selfish, the person is not commiting the act to die and intentionally cause pain to others. it is the pain that they feel that they can not live with.the only solutionto them is to end the pain and end the life that is causing the pain. yes, it may seem selfish to the living. but maybe it should be a wake up call for the living to reevaluate the way we treat people and be a little bit kinder to others.

We sometimes see suicide for the selfish act that it is, yet, at the same time, who are we to decide if it is wrong? Isn't that being just as selfish to deny such an option to a person.???? After all, we are thinking of our own emotions/feelings, aren't we??? Isn't THAT selfish??????????????? Try to imagine the turmoil of the mind of someone who chooses to commit the ultimate act of taking his/her own life.If that persons life is SO unbearable, I do not think they are selfish. It is THEIR life,no-one elses,to do so as they wish.Have I had experience of suicide...........yes,a close family member.

Suicide can be considered a selfish act by those who are left behind, especially if those left behind didn't see the suicide coming (which is possible, considering that most families who had someone commit suicide are in denial most of the time.)

But try and see it through the eyes of the person who is so depressed that they want to end their life. Think of the pain and depression and the pressure that they must feel. They are so low and for some reason can't get out of their funk.

Whilst everyone else might see suicide as a selfish act (I know I certainly did when a close friend committed suicide), the person committing suicide actually thinks (in an irrational way, perhaps) that dying is the best way to make everyone happy round them. I believe that they sincerely think that with their death, a sort of relief will calm their loved ones.

Either way, suicide is a tragedy. It's an emotionally painful time for everyone involved to go through.


i think it can be a very brave thing to do.. it is not selfish because often people do it because their opinion of themselves is so low they think the people left behind would be better off without them..

milk fur♥
This question will only have bias answers, everyone sees it differently. I am sure those who have attempted it and felt what it has been like before you took the plunge can tell you it may probably not be selfish but those who look at it in the sense that say "so many people left behind hurting" will give you their view it is selfish.

Although every persons story is different, is it fair for someone to live a life full of suffering where they have nothing to look forward to, no one who loves or cares for them or generally have it hard? There are people out there who are like this, what about the homeless a lot feel lonely and do not have their families any more. Many of us look at them as something horrible, something we do not want to associate with but many of them once had children had a wife a loving family a good home some even came form very rich backgrounds, so do the people who have nothing left, would they be considered selfish when there was no one there to wish they could have helped?

What I am trying to say is we cannot lump them into either category of selfish or unselfish, we need to exam first their reasons, their backgrounds and mostly we need to understand how they feel which many of us cannot.

No one should be giving answers here unless they have had experience on the issue, people who make judgments when they have never experiences something whether it was a relative or themselves who tried often give a ignorant answer, can someone tell me what beef vindaloo tastes like when they themselves have not tried it nor been told by someone who has?. Also everyones should be regarded as their own individualistic view not something that would apply to everyone.

So when you pick an answer it will be what you feel is right, that is how bias works, so I guess to sum this up this is also my own bias answer how I see things.

I believe it is neither selfish nor unselfish, it all depends on how the person feels, for what reasons they are doing it (some people do actually do it for very selfish acts some do it because they carry a burden of pain).

Think about this, should we label someone we loved as selfish for hurting so badly that they found no other ways? so much that they did not come to those who could help because they evidently did not feel as though we could be trusted enough? Should we label them as selfish for hurting OR label us as ignorant for not seeing the problem before? maybe we closed our eyes to their problem when they did ask for help.

I have seen many people tell their family they wanted help, what they have been thinking of doing and there are A LOT of families out there who do not even care enough to give a loving answer just to turn and say something like "no you don't stop being so melodramatic".

Isn't it selfish for us the family or friends to expect the person to just "stick it out" to stay alive JUST for us? because we don't want to "pick up the pieces" as some say or we don't want them to go? it is their life, we are the ones being selfish, show them other options first on how to fix things and if they feel suicide is necessary then who are we to force them to stay and live in pain just for our own selfish desires?

People who commit suicide are mentally ill. It is not selfish to die of an illness. They are at peace now. They are not sick anymore.

Number 3
Someone once told me that it was more selfish to ask someone to live a life that was that painful than for them to end it.

I truly believe that. I've come close to suicide, and although I'd hate to cause people pain - it isn't selfish to just want your own pain to end.

Sometime no one else can help.

No, it is not a selfish act at all. I do speak from experience.

I suffer with severe recurrent depression. Currently I am well. When the depression is very deep, your mind has an altered state. The suffering is immense and difficult to describe to someone who has not experienced it. You are only existing and your brain is tortured. There aren't any positve thoughts.

You really do feel and BELIEVE (in this altered state of mind), that your family and friends would be better off without you. There can be immense guilt for what you are putting others through...no matter how many times they tell you it's ok. Sleep can be so disturbed, you can go 3 nights without any sleep at all and then when sleep does come, it may only be for a few hours.

There seems to be no way out. If you can imagine that you are burning alive, well severe depression can be a torturous as this.

I only ever believed that depressison was a feeling of being low and unmotivated....it can be so much more than that at its worst as I discovered when I first became unwell.

The thing to remember is that the mind is unstable and sees everything from a very distorted perspective and suicide does seem as though it's the only answer and perhaps the right thing to do for everyone concerned.

To anyone who has lost someone through suicide I would say, they were not being selfish but driven into taking their lives because of an illness which can be very debilitating.

In fact it is probably more true to say that a person died from a mental illness.

Somebody above said that it was a cowards way out of a problem....deep depression is not 'a problem' it is a very serious illness. Also it takes a lot of courage to finally end your own life.
Something that your mind can force you to do.

Somebody else said..'.....but when a healthy person decides....' That is the POINT!!!! That person is NOT healthy!!!! Very far from it!

Often there is no problem or reason for clinical depression, the chemicals in the brain go awry and the brain alters.

Someboody once said, if you drank a lot of alcohol then you'd probably do a llot of things you normally wouldn't...well the chemicals in the brain can have a similar effect but in a negative way.

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