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Health Forum    Cancer
Health Discussion Forum

 My mother is dieing of cancer?
she went in to have glablatter removed they found lung cancer and liver cancer both in stage 4 and now she has brain cancer does anyone know how long it will be , knowing all this and the pain she is ...

 Why do people start smoking?
10 pts. for first GOOD answer!...

 I lost the love of my life ,to cancer about 1 month ago,could anyone tell me when the hurt stops?

 I think i have cancer?
well im loosing a lot of hair like mabye this much IIIIIIIIIIIIII in acucil size what do i do
Additional Details
i am only 12...

 I think I have a serious problem. I've been having really REALLY bad bleeding when I poo. can it be cancer?
I think I have a serious problem. I've been having really REALLY bad bleeding when I poo. I have fresh red blood on the toilet paper when I wipe, there is blood on the stool, and blood in the ...

 Can you get breast cancer if you slap a friend in the breast?
sometimes my friend and i slap eachother in the chest just playing around. Can you get cancer from that?...

 Please could my mum have your prayers this afternoon?
My mum gets the results of her biopsy today please could you all pray that everthing is ok
Additional Details
I will let you all know ...

 Do you tell a mature adult that she is going to die soon?
My mum is 64. She has breast cancer. May have had it for several months but believed she was dealing with it very well without the help of modern doctors (and without informing any family member ...

 If we all lived underground away from the sun, would we still get cancer?

 What doesn't cause cancer?
is there anything left? i am dreading the day they tell us that air causes cancer and we have to stop breathing....

 My son told me I needed to buy him regular pop because diet pop causes cancer.?
Has anyone heard of this or is he trying to pull a fast one on me? My response to him was "doesn't everything cause cancer?"...

 Can I refuse cancer treatment and let it run its course with painkillers from my GP.?
My mother had cancer and although surgery extended her life her quality of life was poor....

 Should smokers be treated for lung cancer?

 Females only, please (pretty darn embarrassing)?
In my typical paranoid fashion, I've been doing a few checks of my -chest area- every couple weeks. I've noticed a solid area in both breasts, and since I'm getting pretty concerned, I&...

 Can you die from prostate cancer?

 If smoking is bad for our health, then why don't they just stop making cigarettes?

Additional Details
I would't dare stop you from smoking to death; that is your choice. I won't even try to convince all the ...

 I've found a lump in my breast...?
It's just n the middle of my cleavage,and it hurts when you put pressure on it. could it be cancer? I'm 20 years old, but theres no history of it in my family.


 Help me i think i'm dying.?
ok so starting about a year ago i strated getting headaches all the time it stoppd for about 6 months and then it started agaian but along with the headaches i got extremely dizzy, i started to have ...

 My brother has cancer only 2 months left im finding it hard to cope?
im just devastated
Additional Details
thanks olivia its ...

 I am dying of of cancer, but i can't tell my fiance or family. I don't want them to fuss over me. I am scared

My Dad died several weeks ago. I need advice?
He died after suffering from cancer for 2 years. I struggle on some days. How can I cope better.

I am not religious at all so no God answers please!

Hi, I know exactly what you are going through. I recently lost my mum suddenly to cancer. Although I have a partner I still feel completely lost. I have found some great support with a group called CRUSE, also McMillan Nurses have a support group too. If you ever wanna chat my email address is [email protected]

Jane E
Darling it is early days yet....you really can't expect to feel any better than you do.
I found the first year the hardest the first birthday. the first Christmas,
without him were awful.
He has been dead now now nearly 29 years and I still cry at the thought of him....all the things he's missed in my life...my wedding ,
the birth of my daughter,...
I would strongly advise bereavement counselling...I wish I'd had some.
Try and focus on the positive things....like your dad mine had had a long illness.....at less their suffering is over.
I, like you had the time to say all the things I wanted to say to him before he died......he knew how much I loved him, how much I would miss him, how much of a gap he would leave in my life that no-one else could ever fill...I was privileged and grateful to have that opportunity and over the years that has given me great comfort.
I wish I could tell you that you wake up one day and you are over it, but I can't......but it does get easier.
Take care

[email protected]
HI, Sorry to hear about your loss, i gather by coming onto here you are looking as to why he died, why him, why he had to go.Maybe you don't know you are seeking the answer to those questions but believe me i think you are, i to lost my father, albeit about two years ago and i also lost my best friend that same year not three months before and i too did exactly as you are doing...looking for an answer.believe me i went to mediums, spiritualists and all sorts and I'm also not religious but i wanted answers, the pain i went through was unbearable, i hope you find what you are looking for and again i am sorry for your loss, if you want to talk then e-mail me cos i know what you are going through,and its true what they say.. time is a great healer

Time heals - really, you will remember that in a year from now. You have to remember all the good times when you think about him, and always imagine that he is in a different room, or house, or place, than you and you won't feel so desolate. My dad died when I was abroad and they'd buried him by the time I got home -I had to pretend he was always somewhere else, and time did heal. Now I can remember him and happy times and I can remember what his voice sounded like. He died 30 years ago.

iam alung cancer of age 36.i have two childrens. my word to you is;THE SUN SHINES AFTER EVERY STORM; THERE IS A SOLUTION FOR EVERY PROBLEM. So don'T WORRY AND GET DEPRESSED.

Hello there, there isn't an answer to your question, sorry, however, as I am going through the same thing with my wife, she as lung cancer and it's terminal, I really hope you find out the answer, my advice to you would be, keep smiling and remember the good times you had, take time out for yourself and never be afraid to ask for help. I'm sure it will be ok in the end. Take care. Kevin

i lost my dear partner last year andthe two things people most frequently said two me where i know how you feel to which i could have grabbed them by the throat and said no you bloody well don't every person is different so just say nothing they meen well but know how you feel never, then they will say time is a great healer to which read a poem , time does not heal you all have lied , how very true it does not get better,i am going away for christmas for the first time ever in 50yrs just because i cannot stand being next to people who are having a good time take good care

after i lost my husband of 25 yrs i went into a shell.iwent to work, came home then i would drink drink drink.after this went on for 2 yrs, ibrought my mom to live with me,that helped me so much,then all at once she got sick and died after being with me1 yr,my world was kicked out from under me again.i thought i couldn't take any more.my best friend called asking me to go out on the town with her several times, finally i agree to go i had the best time and met new friends,ever since then i have been going out with friends and doing things..Being around family and friends will help you more than anything.you will have those bad days,but it won't be as bad having your family and friends to help.just take one day at a time.Things will get better.God Bless

My dad died when i was 15, 4years ago from alcoholism

I salut your bravery in addressing this tender issue

I certainly wasnt ready to talk about it for a long time

I know it is a cliche, but time heals and memories replace the physical presence.

He is totally at peace now and is lookind down wherever he is and helping you and your family

I feel my dads presence especially when i am about to think of doing wrong, and it makes me think about what he would want me to do

I'm sorry to hear about your dad, i don't really know what to say as i'm probably the last person to give advice but try and cheer up a bit. I don't think that your dad would want you to struggle and be upset he'll want everything to be alright. Remember him the way he was without illness, he'll always be with you watching over you and protecting you. Take care.

Wendy B
I know exactly how you feel ,my dad died in july this year ,after having bowel and liver cancer for 8 months ,I am still trying to come to terms with his death ,I miss him so much ,he was my hero and I cry every day. I am not religious either so god doesnt even come in to this .They say times a healer but I dont believe that at the moment ,this is the hardest thing i have ever had to face in my life.I think you just have to take every day as it comes ,and try and think about all the good times you had with him ,if you want to chat ,please email me ,take care xx

My husband passed 5 mo ago today from lung cancer. I am still struggling. Thankfully I have children so I have to keep going but it is soooo hard. I am not religious either. You need to stay strong for your family members. You might want to try a support group it helps some people. So sorry for your loss. Good luck and hang in there

Susan M
Was your Dad in hospice? You could see if they have a grief support group. Otherwise
find a grief support somehow, through your newspaper or something. That can help a lot.

My parents died in 1990and 1991. I am still sad some days, like their birthdays or my birthday. I am just glad I had my parents.

A few weeks or a few months are not long to grieve the lass of your Father. Just try to remember all the good things your Dad wanted in your life and go for them. Be happy as you can, that's what parents want for their children.

My mum just died 3 weeks ago from cancer. She sufferred for 8 mths. Up to now i haven't really accepted that she's no more. Everyday i talk abt her and it does help. Always keep in mind that he's no more suffer'g and that he';s in a much better place and that he will always be with you in ur heart, love and memories.

I have seek medical help. Try to do the same. Also do remember that ur suffer'g cannot be greater than others. I have seen mothers lost their little child and try to console myself that my mum has live enough. My mum was the only family i had, my dad died a few yrs ago. So, am all alone in this world yet i try to help others in their suffer'g and it help mine.

My thoughts are with you.

Chris S
Hi go to this website

Talk to this person who is trained!

I am so sorry for your loss...I lost my dear dad to cancer July last year and some days I still struggle. Its such early days for you honey, and you need to give yourself a break, you will cope better but this is all part of the grieving process. You cannot possibly get over losing such a huge part of your whole life so soon and no one should expect you to. If you feel like you need to cry for your dad, then do it. This all takes time, and I am not going to say that time heals because personally I don't think it does, its just that, in time, we learn to adjust to a different way of life, life without our loved one and things certainly aren't quite the same without them again. I hope you are lucky enough like me to have good friends and supportive loving family around you to grieve with you and help you through this, we all need each other at times like this. Your dad has been a significant, important part of your life, and like me, you never imagined he would never be around. I talk to my dads photo most days, I cry to him, I tell him I miss him and that I love him and that I wish he was here...I honour him and light a candle for him and think of him ...to be honest there is nothing else I can do...if you ever need to chat..email me...sending you love and hugs ...take care xxx

I lost mine too from cancer this year in June and the sad thing is that there is no easy fix. You'll have sad days and low days and days when you'll not know how you can go on. But the thing is somehow you will so long as you face up to it which clearly you are doing by asking this question. Talking, as with so many things, is the answer. Sometimes a friend will be the best person to talk to other times a stranger on the net. I also found that it has helped to keep a diary of my feelings over the last few months, somewhere where you can just unload your feelings. Stay strong, from the number of answers you have here you've clearly a lot of people out there thinking of you and if i can do anything to help then.... [email protected]

Hey sweetie,

If you approach your doctor he can supply you with pills to help with the depression. Alternatively he can offer support in the sense of referring you to a counsellor.

There are also the Samaritans.

Try thinking of your dad and all the happy memories you had together, if he was in pain, all that is over now and he is at rest.

Just take it one day at a time really. Chat to friends, keep busy, don't isolate yourself.

Good luck darling, my thoughts are with you.

Lou x

I've a few deaths over the years. and I'm not religious.how i cope then and to this day. when i feel low,upset things not going well.this is what i believe and do. when someone dies they do not go to heaven shite. i be live they are floating above us all the time.looking out for us. i just speak to them as if their still here. i ask for their help adivce whatever. and you know what it works,and it's a great comfort,knowing that their there. some people may say thats nuts. but i do not care for me it helps.

I am sorry for your loss.
My dad died last January. I have just taken it 1 day at a time. I believe I could not ask my dad to stay on earth in his mortal body another day. He was so sick, and It would be unfair for me to be so selfish to expect him to suffer and be in pain another day just so I would not have to go on without him.
I always knew my parents would die some day, and I never expected to out live them. I just never wanted my dad to leave me alone in the world because of the safety I felt with him around.
As time goes on, your pain and grief will become less and then you can remember the good times and understand your dad raised you to be the person you are today, with a conscience, knowing the difference between right and wrong, and being who you are and now its up to you to be that person
Grief is experienced by everyone in their own way and if it helps to cry, then cry. Your life has been touched by your special dad and he would want you to go on to be the person he raised to be like him.

My dad passed away when I very young. He was also a very young person (he was 36 and had skin cancer). It never gets easy, but it gets to be less hard. If that makes sense. I still have days that I struggle thru as well. Talking about your dad to anyone, family, others that knew him, it all helps!

Concentrate on the good and loving memories and keep pictures up! I still talk to my dad on occasion... Just in my head, I'll say stuff, like, "man dad, i bet you loved that'... it really does help.

Sorry about your loss, love and time will help heal the hurt.

I feel for you, I really do, My dad died two years ago and my daughter died 3rd Nov last year, so I do know what you are going through. Just think of your dad moving to another place, he has not gone, he is still with you, talk to him, he will hear you. Sometimes you may get a smell of him, either his aftershave or cigarette smoke (if he smoked ), thisd will be a sign to you that he is still with you. If you would like to e-mail me, or get me on IM, you can pour your heart out to me. I am not a bible basher, just a normal person who has lost her dad and her daughter. I write poetry to help me come to terms with my grief, it really does help, although the pain never goes away. Yesterday was a really bad day for me as it was my daughters first anniversary, I really miss her, she was my best friend, butr when I think of all the good times we had, it does cheer me up. Don't remember your dad as he was when he was ill, remember him as how he used to be. My thoughts are with you and I hope this reply helps you.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mom, my dad, and my husband at 47 years old. You think you will never get over it, but believe everyone as they tell you that it will get better in time. You will never completely get over it but you will find that in time you can cherish the happy memories and think about the things you have learned from your dad. I read a book called Widow to Widow. It is excellent for explaining the different stages you will go through in the grieving process. It explains about feelings you have already felt, and prepares you for ones that will come up. It's not just for widows, it is good for anyone who has lost someone they are close to, so think about reading it. You are still alive so your life has to go on. You'll cry or have days that feel more tough then others, but that's o.k. You will get through them. You'll find that there will be times you can just feel that he is there watching over you. And then you can smile! Stay busy, stay close to your friends and family, and make your dad proud of you. He's suffering no more. Good luck to you...be strong and you'll make it.

Robin L
My father passed away when I was 16... That was 30 years ago. You will have good and bad days until the grieving process is complete. That is different for each person. It will take time. My father also was sick for almost 2 years and it was very hard after watching him become sicker and sicker. The only advice I can offer is rememer the happy times and let the grieving process complete. It is very hard to lose someone you love. I just lost my mother a few years ago and it takes time but you will see that in time you will be able to think of them without as much pain. I hope I have helped you a little.

James H
time is a great healer talk to your family and friends all the best

Time will heal everything! He's in a much better place now where he doesnt have cancer and everything ok with him. Try thinking of some good memories to help you remember the good old times! And another thing to try is if you have a couple of good,close friends,try talking to them and they'll make you feel better,when im down,my friends always make me smile. If they say something that makes you feel worse dont get mad at them
,theyre just trying to make you feel better(known from experience)

Speak to cruise they are trained to help deal with situations like yours.

Day by Day helpline
0870 167 1677
or email us at: [email protected]

Young Person's freephone helpline
0808 808 1677
or email us at: [email protected]

telboy everton forever
my Mum died in June i get through the days just thinking of her wisdom and her love it helps meas the days go by you will never forget your loved ones but the tears will stop.just try to remember the good times do not take any pills to ease the hurt they really do not help.good luck and i am sorry to hear of your loss

when my parents died i went to CRUSE for counsilling and they were fantastic..it cant hurt to try,,im very sorry to hear about your loss

Mrs Chicagosgirl!!
oh honey, i know exactly how you feel.
my dad died in april after suffering with kidney failure for 5 years.
i know that people tell you that it gets easier with time, but it really does.
i dont cry everyday anymore.
i do still think about him everyday, but not always with tears, sometimes i smile.
the first year is the hardest because you are having to deal with the first of everything.
the first christmas, the first missed birthday, the first anniversary of his death. once you get past these, it will become easier for you to cope.
just keep talking about him, and remember that he loved you and he will always be with you in your heart.
be strong babe xx

Strawberry Pony
Registered Nurse Here; Well hun, wish I had a magic wand to wave over you, and rid you of all the pain, and gut wrenching emotions, you surely must be feeling. A Wise Man,"My Father", once told me, "Life is for the Living", treasure your memories, for no one can take them from you. Your dad had suffered 2 long years, his suffering ended, and even though you suffered with him, now you suffer alone. For when someone we love so dearly dies. We all wish for that one more sunrise, one more sun sent, one more day to be with and talk to that person. It's always, "If we just had that one more day", Your in a hard place right now, most things began small and work up to something big. Sorrow and death starts out big, and with time, we all learn how to be thankful for what we had, gradually the pain lessens, although we never forget, the sorrow and pain begins to lessen, and we are left with our dreams, the only place we can be with the loved one again and our memories. I know you said no God Answers, and maybe this is splitting hairs, but if you could reach for a higher power, in find some peace and tranquility in this. I know you can't see or touch this higher power. But neither can one see the wind, but it's sure felt. Who knows maybe when that wind blows by you, it's your daddy, letting you know his presence.

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