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Health Forum    Mental Health
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 If I kill one person I'm a murderer - However, if I kill a million I'm a conqueror, right?
...


 Should I kill myself?
Hi, I'm Dakota. I'm a girl. I'm 14, I know I sound like the totally "Depressed" teen girl. I'm pretty sure I am but here's my story... I was born, to a 16 year old ...


 Do you think I'm dumb?
I make Ds' in History and English and F's in Geometry. I used to make A's and B's in English and History. My grades have dropped since I've been constantly bullied since high ...


 i cant stop cutting myself.?
I cant stop, every time i do i just break down. Has anyone else been addicted to it and been able to stop?...


 Cure for depression that doesn't involve pills, god, or a dumb hobby?

Additional Details
I said no god and no pills! So all you pill poppers and god lovers please pay attention....


 How does one get over someone who broke their heart?
Even after a lot of time has passed.....even after therapy, self-help, moving on with life in every other way.
Additional Details
WOW, I can't believe all the wonderful answers and ...


 How do to feel comfortable with myself again?
different parts of my identity have been killed
by me and others. and I guess the natural maturing from teenager to adult. I'm just turning 20 soon.

so many terrible things ...


 I've been acting really weird. Please help.?
Ok, well For a while ive been acting pretty strange and people are taking notice.

Here's whats up. (At least read the whole thing through before answering)

-I am severely ...


 I'm a Lic. Massage Therapist I worked on a client and she seemed to get aroused? Answers from women are best!?
So I worked on this client the other day she was in her early 30's has a boyfriend and very attractive...I'm in my late 20's and some would consider very attractive. Not that it ...


 How do you deal with stress?
I've been really stressed out lately and don't know what to do.
which makes me even more stressed.

any ideas?...


 Help! I have school tommarow and my sleep schedule is way off! How can I go to sleep easily tonight?
During weekdays in school time, I usually go to sleep at 9-10 Pm. However because of winter break I went to sleep at like 3 Am. however, tomorrow School begins, so my sleep schedule is way off!
...


 I'm worried about my daughter and don't know how to help her.?
My teenage daughter is withdrawn, has phobias about ordinary things and is depressed. She has been for about five years. I've been to counsellors with her, 2 psychiatrists, and our family doctor....


 My boyfriend just hit me again and I think I had a seizure but he wont let me go to the hospital, what to do?
...


 i need help...im scared.?
hi. okay so this might sound weird. but anyways.
i really wanna tell my teacher or something about how ive been cutting, but im scared, how do i not be scared anymore?...


 I have heard it said that we only dream in black and white. Is this true?
...


 Going back into depression. :|?
I've been so down lately. So much has happened to me recently, and it's so overwhelming. I think i might be going back into depression.
I used to go to parties and smoke and hang out ...


 i cant sleep, someone is watching me?
i havent slept in 3 days because i think some one is watching me. iv aways been a paranoid person. to me there is always some one following me, listening to my calls. in the past three days its been ...


 Do you think it's selfish when people tell depressed people not to commit suicide?
I mean here you are, living your nice perfect good life and probably has no idea what depression is like, and than you tell the depressed person to keep living his or her worst nightmare and that ...


 how can i stop cutting/burning myself?
iv been cutting for the last 2 years and it keeps getting harder to stop iv tried to commit suicide at least 5 times in the last year i talked to my brother a little about it but never really got ...


 How do I stop thinking about doing drugs?
I cant stop thinking about doing coke. Ive been to rehab. I really want tot stop I just cant get it off my mind....



Jan
This is very personal, ashamed to share, but i am at my wits end?
My son was a good lad, he joined the army at 16, excelled, he went all over the world, doing all sorts, jumping out of planes, bull run in spain etc. I was so proud! He was posted to Iraq, excelled there as well, aged 18, was put up for promotion. He suffered an ambush, was nearly killed, saw horrors of war that day. He left the forces on medical grounds, got help, but it was brief. He is now like someone i don`t recognise, he is always in trouble with the law, never out of court, he is violent, aggressive, and i think he is proud of the way he acts now. He seems to relish in being put through the courts, i think he has gone nuts. I am so worried, i have got him in with a psychiatrist, but he is like an uncontrollable animal, it is killing me. He rang me tonight, almost proud, cause he got arrested again last night. i weep, he is on self destruct, he is only 21 now, but has no respect for anyone anymore, especially the law. Where will this end?
Additional Details
I still love him more than life, i am so worried for his future, i have talked till i am blue in the face, but he just carries on. How can i help him?
                      








delroyd
Rating
Sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which can affect some "mental" types more than others. He sounds like an adrenaline junkie who needs someone to throw bombs at him for the rest of his life. He has come back from all that on the edge stuff and is casting around for trouble because he needs it like a drug. Have you been in touch with any Exservicemens oranisations ? This is not uncommon with people who have been trained to kill and are familiar with living as if each day might be the last and there is specialist help available. The problem is he is enjoying hurting everyone who wants to try to help him ,ie you , and so it will be difficult for him to be helped. He may have to be taken away for a while to be readjusted.


Joel
Rating
That is a lot for anyone to go through give him all the support you can and put your trust in the professional people dealing with him if your not happy with the care he is receiving do not be afraid to get a second opinion but at the same time don't neglect your own health and welfare this is not all about him. Good luck.


glgl
Just pray for him please, it'll really make a difference.


hot girl1123
Rating
This will probably end when the law is off his case.when he stops doing things like that he might reconize that he is doing things the are bad and he might ask the lord for his forgivness.It might end when he is died for sure.BUT all you can do is pray for him.


tommmythegun
the army teaches the agressive behaviour, and i am not saying this is a bad thing, it helps men work better in war situations, it makes them numb to killing, even in the armed police killing is only thought of as a solution to a problem in the mind, this is why this agression is there.

as all others have said, get him someone to talk to who is VERY good. ask for reccomendations off people. we did the same for a family member and the difference is unbelievable.

i am not blaming the army in any way for his agression.

regards and good luck


edison
Rating
To be honest you cannot help him this is something that has happened to him through war,professional help through the forces or your doctor should over a long period of time help,sorry we on here are not able to help more.


The Oak
His response could be related to post-traumatic stress. If he is non-communicative about his feelings he is probably hiding from his own fear. By dominating his environment and challenging the authorities he is avoiding emotional realities - reasserting himself after being "shaken". Medical help is essential. The army should take responsibility for the situation. Unfortunately, too often, our soldiers are sent to do the work for dishonest politicians and the situation chews them up and spits them out. The idea that trained killers, some with mental or self-esteem problems, can be dumped into society without the proper back-up, seems ludicrous.
Also, a soldier friend of mine pointed out that there is a security in army discipline that the wider society lacks. This makes coming out of the army very challenging for some soldiers and can lead to depression, drink or drug problems as their sense of identity is lost in a society that often seems to lack respect and honour.


jay or
my heart goes out to you. take him if he will go to a counsellor, ask him if there is anything troubling him that makes him act like that. you will be in my thoughts and prayers


burrowsybobs
Rating
Well firstly just ignore that S*** Ma D*** idiot with that pathetic attempt at a helpful response. Some people just come on here to upset people.

No wonder you are at your wits end, but try to remember that your son is just obviously trying to forget what awful things have happened to him or that he has seen in Iraq. He is so young to be posted there, 18 is no age to be seeing such stuff. It's no wonder he has gone off the rails really. I am sure there are not many young 18 year olds that could see that stuff and not be affected.

I would say you should contact the Army and see what help they can offer, after all they must have professionals that deal with this type of thing. It may be that he is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Maybe the lack of respect is down to what he has seen, or the fact that the Army were so quick to wash their hands of him. They should have given him more help and maybe he thinks that too.

I just feel so sorry for you and for your son. He has risked his life for this country and this is how he has been paid. It just doesn't seem fair.

You obviously love him so much and want to do whatever it takes to help him - as most mothers love their children, I know I would do anything for mine. Let him know that you are there for him,tell him you love him (not that I am saying you don't do this). He obviously loves you, as you said he phoned you tonight. You might not have wanted the news, but what other boys at 21 phone their mum.s. Not so many I bet, it would be far too 'un cool'.

You just carry on being a loving Mum and hopefully with the right help, your son will make you proud of him again.

Hang on in there, and best of luck. I hope you both find happiness.


Mad Mac
You need not be ashamed of relating this problem. I'm a veteran and know the VA provides help for troubled veterans. This sounds to me like "impulsive or self destructive behavior" associated with "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder". If you would contact the Veterans administration they will give you information on how you can get your son in a rehabilitation program. Above all don't be ashamed of your son; he needs help.

Look in your local telephone directory for the nearest VA hospital and call them for information or go to:
http://va.gov and follow the instructions to get the info you need.


Angel1
I would call his old regiment. The respect he would have been taught will not have been forgotten and I would ask his old senior officer to talk to him. I cannot imagine the horror he has seen and it is bound to have had an effect on him.

This may help him and give him some direction.

Good Luck.


briacass
Rating
You shouldn't help him out. Explain to him that you love him but if he continues on the path that he's on he's going to have to do it without you. as hard as its gooing to be to see your baby, your love, go to jail its what he needs! you just have to remeber that it may save his life. im sorry that you are being put through this but remember that there's a eason for every thing and in the long run things are going to be fine, just pray for your son. i hope every thing turns out great. Never loose your spirit and hold your head high!

Bye!


jacs
You poor thing, I really feel for you. This behaviour happened to a Vietnam vet friend of mine, he said that because he had faced death it was like an Adrenalin rush to him and coming home was boring, he acted out to get that rush back. The army is structured in a way that it brain washes you into believing that you are almighty and you have the capacity to kick **** whenever and wherever you want. I would contact a Veterans affairs office for advice, I'm certain this behaviour is not out of the ordinary for them. Good luck, take care.


~carmie~
Rating
Only your son can do changing for himself. Unless he realizes what he is doing to himself is self destructing then there is really no answer to when your suffering will come to an end. I suggest doing an intervention. Tell him that you can no longer help him or be there for him because it causes you too much pain. He either gets his act together or you lose all ties with him. Maybe this intervention will help him realize what he is doing is killing your relationship with him. Keep him going to couselling since it is obvious that the war in Iraq has changed him for the worse.


Leslie S
I feel very much for you..and your son. I have no experience in psychology but am going to answer because of things that I have read about and seen.1) The most obvious thing is, your son was doing so well, being proud of himself and making you proud, doing something that he loved and it was all taken from him.. 2) The atrocities that he witnessed that day, I can only imagine....But the one thing that rings a bell with me here is the change in him doesn't just sound rebellious or as if he has given up, it actually sounds as though he has changed personality. You haven't, understandably, included in your question what injuries he received, but this change in personality is so very much documented alongside personality change. I have read books and seen documentaries about people that have had a head trauma....one in particular was a guy in a car crash that hit his head but had NO outside sign of injury, no blood, no cut, but his brain had rattled inside his skull and damaged a tiny part (which is the personality section). This may be something that could be looked into. I am so sorry.


wollemi_pine_writer
and so the war carries on and more young men come home and behave like this...... and yet the world leaders will continue on with war after war

It sounds like he is suffering from some kind of post traumatic stress disorder...

it is possible that since the american military tends to break their young men and women down and rebuild them that once they are cut loose from the military they do not have any coping mechanisms..... while in service the military tells them how to think, what to believe, and how to behave... they are trained, (some say brain washed) to follow orders... out in the real world there are no orders... no general to follow... and they are left with a feeling of being lost...

he may be hoping to be jailed.. in jail he will again have an authority figure to dictate his day to day life for him.. and it will feel somewhat like his life is in order again....

I would make sure that the psychiatrist I take him to is experienced with post traumatic stress disorders and is familiar with the military training methods...


button moon
Rating
you cant help him, until he realises he needs to help himself! your just going to have to be there for him, sit back and wait!


Peter M
Rating
It sounds like PT SD, if you are in the UK there is a group called Combat Stress, they treat ex-servicemen / women. Do an Internet search I think they have a web site. He can be referred by his GP You could contact you your local Community Mental Health Team for advice, you will only get basic information from them but if should help to put you on the right track.


Stevie mac
Rating
it's not uncommon,contact his regiment who should be able to offer councelling or give you advise


stalbanschorister
Rating
Poor you, poor him. What did the psychiatrist say

S*** MA D*** Will you shut up???!!!! You are not funny and very in-sensitive.


onlygrammaheart
Rating
TOUGH LOVE If you can't get help from the military somehow---check into it. good luck.


wang eyed lil
thats always the problem with war and conflict, we create killing machines, arm them, send them to places where human life is worthless and they are subjected to attrocities that are almost unimaginable, of course this type of thing happens a lot more commonly then you can expect. you could try the army they have services that may be able to help. in the uk we have the british legion. its just so sad and my heart goes out to you, all that you can try to do is be there for him all the time and with a little luck he will come to realise the error of his ways. God bless you and him.


Black Orchid
My heart goes out to you , He`s only 21 he must be going through hell and you as a family,
He`s like he is because he`s trying to black out the horror`s , What about the army Doctor cant they help him, i truly hope you get your son back soon I know this is no help but i just want you to know people care


mickl84
Rating
Ever heard of post traumatic stress? Your son could be suffering, people can suffer for years until they come to terms with what theyve seen , heard , done?

It is very common is soldiers especially young ones and i9t is very hard to deal with. The military and goverment should do all they can to help ex troops deal with it.


n8r
I'm sure you have heard the letters P.T.S.D. My best friend is suffering the same thing. We don't talk much any more and he is always in trouble. To be frank with you, We couldn't imagine the things they saw over there. And they will never be th same. All we can do is be there for them when they need us and give guidance only when asked!!! He may act out as Adam(my friend) does when he feels like he is being ordered to do something.


Jo
Rating
I suggest you visit your GP for some advice and guidance. Samaritans may also be a friendly ear. However, for professional help to be of any use, your son will need to accept there is an issue in the first place but you need some support to get him to this stage. Good luck.


L D
Rating
Who knows how what he witnessed in Iraq has affected him. You are doing the right thing in getting him proffessional help.
I have heard that many ex-squaddies end up in prison on in the court circuit because they can't handle the 'freedom' of non army life.
I wish i knew how to help or what to suggest, but i really don't know.
Best of luck to you, and know that you are doing the right thing and he is an adult, you cannot control his actions no matter how much you want to.


reddesertflwr
Rating
sounds like post trauma stress disorder my ex acted like him become an alcoholic your son needs to be in intensive therapy. I dont know if my input helps any but my ex become a nothing draws disabilty and drinks. He used to call me when he would get arrested. kinda laughing about it.


dlin333
try contacting a local veterans group, they can put you in touch perhaps with someone that can help,,,,, he most likely needs to see a psychologist,,,,,, not a psychiatrist,,,,,and talk about his problems, he is suffering post traumatic stress syndrome due to what he has been threw/seen , and that would be why he is acting out, and why he wants to be arrested, it is easier to go to jail then to deal with the world and his memories,,,, dont give up hope on him, keep seeking help,,,,,,


littledevilinyourcup
if he will agree have him put in a veteran hosp for Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome. Alot of these guys are like this because they see someone they care about die so they get to where they care for noone or nothing so when its gone it doesnt hurt


ZURDITA
Rating
He seems to be in "war mode" still. Apparently he likes to go to the extreme even in sports. Encourage him to do extreme sports where he can let out that rage he feels inside. Apparently he has seen the most worse of the human being as a soldier and has no goals in life. He may also have a chemical imbalance. He really needs therapy since he is out of control. Try to get him to see a therapist and take up some extreme sport; also have him write down any goals he may have in life and try to achieve them...


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