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Health Forum    Mental Health
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Do I honestly have depression? Im so confused with myself!?
I've seen my therapist twice and she made me do a depression test to see how depressed I am. Apparently I scored pretty darn high. Then I did Beck Depression Inventory today, and I scored above a 30++ so that would mean depression as well.

But you see, the problem is... I know I'm not happy. I fantasize about stepping in front of a bus, I just attempted suicide 4 days ago, I know I seriously dislike myself, I feel like an absolute failure, I feel worthless, my future is bleak beyond hope. But there are also times when I feel alright. Like now. I've been feeling... close-to normal these past 2 days. It's hard to describe it. But I get depressed immediately once someone hits a trigger. Then I go into this whole self loathing state of mind. But I get out of it, if someone's there to keep my mind off it. I don't find it too hard to concentrate anymore. I'm starting to eat again. I don't know, this is so confusing.

Am I well again?

Dark Cleric
well the first thing id like to say is, there is absolutly nothing different about you. your a perfictly normal human being, everyone experences depression, some more than others, if you need help dealing with this depression you have people around you like family and friends to help you out. and suiside is definitly not a good idea, even though it may solve pain, it definalty causes more than it solves, ive lost 3 friends to suiside, and the pain that is endured by family and friends is a great deal. all i can say is the only way to truly get better, is to live your life and be yourself, and dont let your negative feelings replace the posative.

Hope this helps you
My best regards,

I also suffer from depression, and alot of what you said reminds me of what happens to me. I'll be happy for a while, and then something will happen to send me into deep depression, where I don't feel like doing anything, I feel guilty about something, though I rarely know what it is, and I feel like I don't deserve anything. I also feel like I wish I would just die, that everyone would be better off that way. Just because you aren't sad all the time doesn't mean you're not suffering from depression anymore. I wish I could tell you that's what it meant, but I know from experience.

Douche Ellington
just relax...you can beat this...i believe in you...dont give up

I think you need a combo of medication and cognative-behavior therapy. Please see a psychiatrist! Hope you feel well soon!

You need to get different medication. Whatever they're giving you isn't working.
Depression is a biological imbalance of serotonin and or your synapses not functioning properly.
You might only have to take a low level antidepressant for about 6 months to get your levels straightened out!
You must tell your counselor that you feel like committing suicide. You must call someone when you feel like this! Call 1800 suicide. They'll be glad to talk to you!
Good luck

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