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Health Forum    Mental Health
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Lone Ranger
Committed a mistake. Need help?
Hi all,
I wanted to share this with someone so that i can feel little better. I kept tjjis to myself all these days and could not stand it any more. I come from a decent family. was good at studies. I dint get a good job after my studies. my family was financially in a bad situation then due to my dads stupidity. though we had everything, he lost everything and the burden was on myself and my sibling. my parents though educated were not a moral support for me at any point of time in life. The situation got worse and somehow i struggled and got a job. i dint have proper food and lost my health but my parents dint let me resign the job. i felt that nobody was there for me. i dint like the job and struggled there as well. there i met a guy. he was also helping me in my work. i was emotionally attached to him and he used me nicely. though we were not committed to each other.he used me physically to an extent. i dont know why i was like that. i was doing whatever he wished me to do. then he fought wit me and stopped talking. i felt like committing suicide and was not brave enough. At that time i realized what all he did to me and how i was listening to him. 2 years after that i got married. My husband is a nice man. i feel very guilty for what i did. though i dint do anything intentionally, i feel very bad. i am not able to tell him about this. many times i have shown my anger on my mother for whatever happened.if they hadnt sent me to this palce, or if they were supportive i wouldnt have done such a thing. but i know that i am blaming them for my mistake. i hate myself. i feel low, lost interest in everything. i feel bad and cry everyday cos of this. i feel that death is the only solution for this. all my good qualities are nothing because of this. i tried telling my husband but couldnt. dint want to hurt him. how can i forget watever happened?? is it possible to live peacefully here after??pls help..
                      








saikat hasan
Rating
,You do not need to tell your husband about it, just keep it for yourself...after all telling it to him wont change the fact or the past. move on and stop blaming. there is bigger picture you need to do than thinking about that. try to be happy..do the things that will make you happy. cook, read books or anything. dont isolate yourself with that problem... it is already your past, and there is nothing you can do about it other than just move on. like for example, a kiss is just a kiss, no need to worry same with past is already past. but if you feel guilty about it.. then go on tell your husband... but if you think he might get upset or hurt, its better for you not to say it.... keep it for yourself, that nightmare and etc. you dont deserve to suffer. i hope this one Help you.... try to visit also my site rhadem.blogspot.com maybe there is something there that fits your interest. its all health articles and a bit of travel... have fun and be well my friend,,,


Sonia Verma
Rating
dont think much what u did. what is happen is happend.u should be greatful that u now understand that ur hasband is everything for u. now keep ur intrest in ur family


ADMIRAL
Close down your past,start afresh,need not to tell husband,Love him & be loyal to him.Admiral V K Singh


Angel Jose
Rating
Oh my dear!!!! Y are u so afraid and confused?
To live a peaceful life practice meditation.Believe me you will feel much much better.Go and get the Cd of dynamic meditation and relax yourself.You can get it on www.gurumaa.com.Do practice Yoga Nidra also if possible.
Take care and enjoy your life.


Betty M
Rating
..The one thing that can make us sick mentally and/or physically, is keeping secrets and/or not talking and dealing with our problems. As the saying goes, We are only as sick as our secrets, which still holds true today...We allow them to eat us up inside and we go down further and further, which it sounds like you have and are continuing to do, but everything can be healed..This all happened before you were married, so you have nothing to feel bad about concerning your present relationship. I think that talking with a counsellor would benefit you and then you would not have to carry this around any longer..This is something that you are not letting go of, for some reason only you know, be it guilt or shame, but it sounds like toxic shame to me, which is deadly and can have serious affects on us in every way if we don't deal with it..Staying angry with your parents is what is keeping all of this alive, and I am wondering if the real issue isn't also about them.. All of this changes who we are, affects our relationships, and can make us seriously sick..You really need to confide in someone you can trust and get this all out,and then finally, let it go..What is done, is done. You cannot go back, but you can change your perspective into a healthier one..Most all of us have done something we regret, oh well, that is life, and we sometimes make bad choices..We do not have to allow these choices to run our lives..These are lessons are in the past but they do not have to dictate our futures..We can learn from them, we can grow from them, but we move on with what is in front of us today..You are hanging on to this issue or issues for some internal reason that only you know, and once you deal with this and get it out with some one you trust, I can almost guarantee that you will be able to finally move on from it..The lesson in all of this is what we keep to help us in the future, but only if and when we need it, and/or to help someone else when possible..You are not alone..Enjoy and live your present life, for this is the gift. Enjoy your life with your new husband, you have a new beginning...And especially, Learn to forgive yourself, not one of us is perfect. I could tell you stories that would make your hair curl, but they are history.. It is done, it is over, it is gone, now lay it to rest...Take care..


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