patsy4no1
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Looks aren't everything, but let's face it, her looks were part of the attraction to her. When people are overweight they tend to tire easily, and because of that they stop exercising which then leads to depression because endorphins (feel good hormone), not readily available. Add to that the spouse who is becoming angry because the overweight person appears to not care. Trust me, she cares.
Is she depressed, bored, angry with you? I doubt that she doesn't care, she probably just doesn't know how to begin. Sometimes starting something is the hardest part.
Now, I'm hoping that the way you stated your question is not the way you respond to her in person. If you have said these things to her (no matter how true), you have crushed her self esteem and therefore things will only get worse.
Suggestions:
Help her plan some healthy menus and eat with her.
Get rid of the fattening snacks in the house
Don't sabotage her efforts
Don't call her fat and also check yourself to see if you have a "critical spirit"
Love her back to health. Her weight shouldn't be the main concern, but her health should be. Obesity leads to hypertension, diabetes, swollen & painful joints, sleep apnea and the list goes on and on!
You can help her, just love her, compliment her as often as you can and stay hopeful. Negative comments and looks will not get the desired results. Positive thoughts and actions are better motivators.
BTW, I could have been writing your question about about my husband (so I know where you're coming from).
"Hope Springs Eternal!" |
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Olive
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i dont know you shouldnt have married someone who had the ability to get fat lol |
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josheverett1
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The key is to tell her you're concerned for her health and not that you think she looks disgusting. Make sure you let her know that you feel you BOTH need to eat healthier and get in better shape. And don't push too hard right away. If you can get her to work out but it's not fun for her she'll just quit. What you need to strive for is not a diet or workout fad, but a lifestyle change. Then be patient. If you both stick with it you'll be looking and feeling better but it will take time. But if she won't work with you at all, dump her *** and get a younger hotter woman. You can bet your *** she'll be losing weight once she's a divorcee!! |
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Summer
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How about you suggest the idea that you two both get memberships to a work out club (24 hour fitness or whatnot). Tell her the reason is that you want to spend some time with her making sure you both stay healthy as you get older. Tell her you are worried about your own body (maybe your heart or whatever!) And you want her support and her to work out with you!
Tell her you think it will enhance the relationship and be an activity that you can both share and work toward health goals.
Make the focus YOU not HER.
Start balancing YOUR diet, and hers will be balanced to. Dont' buy ANY crappy food, even if you like it! Then she wont have the urge to eat it :) |
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Susan L
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if your wifes looks are bothering you...maybe you should look in the mirror...your looks might be offending her.
If you love someone how could you get sick of them because they put on a few pounds. Did she have kids, what kind of job does she have, is there a medical reason, is she so sick of looking at you that she's depressed she eats all day? Ask yourself some of those question and maybe you can figure it out like a big boy instead of slamming the woman you married on Yahoo Answers. |
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tiffany b
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Why don't you lie and tell her you think you both should go to the gym and work out ! Just to stay fit that's all :) Don't ever tell her she's fat you'll die I promise LOL Christmas is around the corner tell her for new years you think it would be great if you both worked out together so you can live healthier and happier !!! |
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computerdude
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the best thing you can do is not criticize her and tell her she's fat! Start by suggesting brisk walks, a friendly game of tennis, ect ect.
Also throw out all the soda's and junk food, tell her you want to start eating healthy and stick to it. If you set a good example she will follow. |
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Dakota
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Get on a good diet and exercise program yourself and tell her you would like her to join you. It can be something you two do together to spend time while at the same time being healthier. Yea it's trickery but in the end you both benefit. |
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map792
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is it really her you are unhappy with or is it yourself? also is it her who is gaining weight or just yourself? i find it hard to believe that after 12 years of marriage you are still your young looking, tight svelt self that she fell in love with. i bet you have changes as well. 12 years of marriage and you now want to dis your wife like that? you are a very shallow person and should be ashamed of yourself. if it bothers you that much and you are so vain about it why not suggest that you and her should both start eating healthy and working out. nothing to hard or intense, just something light to start off with because again, after 12 years i hardly think you are the same person. and you make it out like all your wife did was just sit on the couch and do nothing and just eat and eat until she gained weight. does she have health problems contributing, has she had your children. stop being so damn selfish and vain and start loving your wife for woh she is. the only way she can do it is with your support. |
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SomeoneYouDontKnow
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Well first off if you are not working out then you should not expect her to. With that said the best way to get her to work out is ask her if she would like to join a gym with you. Do not tell her she is getting fat because that will just make her mad and upset with you. Start eating healthy yourself and working out and it may rub off on her. Also ask her to go on walks with you everynight. |
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Badkitty
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All you can really do is ask her to work out with you. Maybe the two of you could join a gym together. Tell her you love her and want her to be healthy. Sometimes we need to hear our loved ones concern before it hits us what were doing to ourselves. Be supportive and begin a healthy diet and exercise plan you both can do together. |
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serene e
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Well, telling her she's fat isn't going to help at all.
What you need to do is ask her to help you get healthier. Tell her you need a partner to work out with, and eat healthier with. This will not only get you into better shape, but get her into shape as well. BUT - you have to like work out at HER level, not at yours. |
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grotesquelyfugly
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dude.......pack yer bags, you're on your way to Divorceville, probably will get frequent flyer miles |
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R. Guetive
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Why don't you work out with her? Maybe you two can go on a diet together.
I know when I wanted to quit smoking, I couldn't do it if my husband was smoking. When we BOTH decided to get healthier, we did. It included both quitting smoking and exercise/eating right.
Make it something you can do together. Do it in an non-insulting way. |
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i am what i yam.
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Say that you want both of you to get into shape because you want to be with her for a long time, it is a win/win situation for you!
you can do it together |
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marleyfu
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Of course looks count, but what do YOU look like compared to 12 years ago? Honestly, you should both eat the same kinds of things and have similar activity levels. Be a husband and be her positive influence and her work out buddy. |
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princess leah
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she obviously deserves better than you, loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Oprah
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Why don't you work out with her. I am sure your not the trim fit specimen you use to be. |
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Lindz
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Suggest going to the gym together. Say you want to go, and need her support. Start eating healthy meals together. |
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heeeeeyyy[:
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act like you wanna work out and ask her to go with you and starting making her think your the one that wants to get healthier |
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Roberto
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" baby, ur fat! let's bring it down or ELSE! " |
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