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Health Forum    Cancer
Health Discussion Forum

 What happens if you have cancer but don't want treatment?
in the US
Additional Details
yes, I know about the dying part -- I meant do the doctors refuse to treat you any more or ...


 Do you know anyone who has cancer?
Do you D:thanks,...


 To pavarotti my heart goes out to you and your family (please sign if you support victims of cancer)?
I just want to show my respect for pavarotti great man great voice and i hope his family and friends are ok and he gets a little longer here in this world if only we had the cure for cancer we ...


 Is cancer actualy curable?
...


 my boyfriend has cancer in his left lung and half of his right lung. He's only 21 can I give him one of mine?
How long does someone usually survive when their whole left lung and half of their right lung is covered with cancer? Sre their any other treatments bsides chemo.
Additional Details
He ...


 can you die from lung cancer?
...


 Dieing...................?
If I was dieing would you truthfully give your life to me??
Even Though I was a stranger???
Why or Why not???
<I'm not really dieing>...


 A 13 year old boy... WITH BREAST CANCER?
i have this lump on my chest that is harder than the fat on my chest and muscle and it doesnt really move and ive had it for a month or two and now my nipple is starting to swell
Additional D...


 I don't drink or smoke,don't you just love me?
...


 my friend says she'd rather have her sons smoke cigarettes than pot. I disagree. what say you ?
I don't promote pot, I used to smoke it alot, but don't like it anymore,so I quit. it was easy. I don't smoke cigs, she does. she says she likes smoking cigs.(eewww)
think about ...


 Do you think that lung Cancer kills or the cigarettes kill?
As many die from lung cancer and never smoked....


 What would you do if you had cancer?
I mean, you know you're probably going to die and your friends and family cry probably everyday about you.
Additional Details
People I know there are a lot of cancer survivors but ...


 I have been told I need to go into a hospice because I'm deteriorating gradually. I need some advice.?
My cancer is deteriorating and the hospital have said I have to go into a hospice. What I need to know is is it scary and will I like it? I'm getting sicker and sicker every day and the thought ...


 question about something i can't make into a question?
my dad just told me he has cancer and because its the 3rd time he got it its not looking good...at all. They can't even do anymore surgery so they are counting on chemo...ANYWAYS i dont wana ...


 Please help me! I think somethin's wrong!?
I am a very smart 13 year old girl. I have been forgetting things lately like things I learned last year in 6th grade. Then we reviewed, and reviewed. I get it and then 5 min later, I forget again. I ...


 Would you feel sad if you just fount out that your best friend has cancer?
About two weeks ago,I fount out that my best friend has lyphompia.
Additional Details
I just want to make sure that she is cured with in two years.She is like a sister to me.She is a ...


 Why 90% of americans are still using microwaves in their kitchens if it's known to be bad for our health?
...


 I have a lump in my left breast (nothing in the right one), it is relatively small and doesn't really cause me?
any problems until I'm due on, about a week before it really hurts - you can't even lean on it without it hurting. I'm 26 years old and did go to my doctors about this, who referred ...


 Is this cancer?
I have this bump on my right lower abdomen. I think its a lymph node. It is very mobile. Its been there for like 3 or 4 years. It never grew. Its not painful at all and never has been. It isnt ...


 Is it worth having chemotherapy has well as radiotherapy if the breast cancer hasn't spread to the lympth node
...



lovelaffy2008
My dad is dying please help...?
This could be my dad's last Christmas. He has undergone 3 heart surgeries and 3 heart attacks, 3 of his four arteries are blocked (even after his triple bypass) and he is inoperable at this point. His surgeon and heart specialist said that operating on him further is not an option anymore. His body can't take anymore. I'm 28 and he's 60. He has made it clear that he's not ready to leave me and the rest of his kids. But things are different now and as much as I hate to say it, I don't think I have a lot of time left with him. I'm asking for advice on how to make the most of his life without making it obvious that I know my times limited.
                      








Alyssa
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You are seriously asking us? Ha. Sorry, but if you can't think of what to do with your own father and are asking US...well
JUST LOVE HIM- gosh

-You guys are giving me a thumbs down, when i'm just being honest.


Sam Y
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i hate to break it to you, but that's how life is...
people die... if everyone lived forever life wouldn't be so interesting.
i'm sorry to hear all this, but luckily you are a grown woman and shouldn't be so dependent on your parents. there are others out there losing both parents before even their teen years.
i'm sure your father loves you very much,
good luck!


Roxy
when God needs him back to heaven he will have to go, now you will pray that the following time together would be the best time. he will finally rest and not have to suffer with all those treatment anymore...


Pointe Dancer
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Well i have leukemia and i know all i like is for my family and frineds to be with me. When i think of "this could be my last christmas" all i think of iis sitting down with my entire family and having a traditional christmas meal. And after alll the kids begging to open presents. My uncle squirting all the kids with squirt guns. So just make it a traditional Christmas and dont eventhink that it could be his last. Good luck and happy holodays!!


Dee
You did not say where you live. If you do not live in an area where there is a major medical center, I would go to one and get a second opinion.

If the diagnosis is correct, spend a lot of time with him and find out what he wants to do. Treat him the way you would want to be treated.


Abi <3
Spend some time with your dad, if he's well enough take him to lunch or maybe somewhere else that he likes!

Im sorry to hear about your dad.. Hope ive helped!


Sha sha
i'm sorry to hear that but instead of taking the time to post this question why not spend time with him and make this christmas the best christmas he has ever had and have fun with him while you still can... :(


cowboydoc
We're in the same boat, to say the least. There's not much you can do. He isn't ready to admit he's going to pass on. It usually happens to people that aren't close to any rligious affiliation. Sorry to say.
Other then making him comfortable and as happy as possible, there's not much you can do. Apperaently there no "mom" in the picture, you don't mention her. That makes it harder. Maybe some old friends that he may have been close to could be contacted to visit him ? Good luck.


crisanthe
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How devastated you must feel. Helpless, alone and scared... I have been there with my Dad, several times... he is now 85, and has come through several vascular operations, plus replacement valves and had a large aortic aneurysm repaired, against all odds. Two doctors said it couldn't be done because of his age, he was 83 then, but another said he deserved a chance at least and went ahead, after telling us all the risks he would face. Dad asked us what we thought, we said it was his choice and we would support him whatever he decided. He was asked to be part of a drug trial that could possibly help other patients... that was the deciding factor. He had spent his life helping others and he saw that as a chance to do it still, no matter what the outcome.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, Dad had a very successful op, astounded all with his recovery time and how well he has done since, though most thought he had no chance of survival. There is always a chance, no matter how small, that your Dad will be ok. He sounds to be a fighter, like my Dad... I hope so.

My Mum died at just 51 and the one thing she asked was that I would let her talk and discuss her feelings and what she wanted done... also to pass on messages to my children and my brother's children, in later years. Mum had cancer and poor Dad was in denial. He couldn't believe the love of his life could leave him... and so kept telling her she would be fine. Mum needed to talk and to be sure that her loved ones were looked after. While I would certainly agree that your time is the most precious gift you can give your Dad, also let him set the guidelines... let him talk when he needs to, don't just brush him off in the hope of reassuring him.My heart goes out to you and your Dad, and I will pray for you both.


Ladies man
ask him what is his lifelong dream... eg, go to europe or something, then when he tells you...go and do it with him


fire and lightening
take him somwhere or have like a family boredgame night. every little thing helps


Bri☂
Go on the vacation of your life ! Make a bucket list , just like the movie do everything he ever wanted to do in his life , make the best out of it !
Good Luck .

Mine ?

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081214004812AAkO95F


Billme
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Hi,

If you happen to live near Orange County CA, I have a doctor who is a close friend and is doing great things with cancer patients to make their last days much happier. This doctor has had brain cancer himself, and is living a normal life again, and helps at a suicide prevention phone line from 4-midnight on Wednesdays.

I am sure he could help out in your case as well.


TC
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I am so sorry to hear this. :.( I think you should spend as much time as you can with him. I have had 3 special people in my life, get really sick and die within the last 4 years. Just pray or meditate to god that he isn't in any pain. If the doctor will not give him treatment, and you think he needs more then maybe you should search for a doctor and surgeon that will. But if his body cant take it, that's all you can do is hope for the best. I hope that he miraculously can get better and stay living, but you have to just spend every second you can with him in case the worst comes to reality. I will pray for him and your family. Make sure he knows you care for him and love him! Thats all he would want from you! He loves you and this is just a sad part of life that everyday everyone will have to face. Very sad but all you can do is live each moment like it could be your last with your own life and with your dad.


One Step Closer
I am SO sorry. Nothing like that has ever happened to me, so I can't empathize...but I can't imagine what it must be like. I would tell you to make the most of your time with him, but that's an obvious thing.
Again, i'm sorry and I hope you get as much time with him as you can =(


clloe
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Spend time with him, talk to him, do whatever he likes to do
I'm so sorry:'(


ii. rep. [ afg ] [ اُمید ]
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Im really sorry to hear that. Just do the things he loves to do that hes capapble of doing and be there for him. I hope it works out well. My prayers are with you and your family.


Brian
I'm very sorry to hear that but you can spend some time with him by bringing him to the park to exercise and chat with him or you could bring him outstation.


Michele
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Get your whole family to spend time with him or visit him more.
Mayb even have a early christmas just for him.


amoobaa
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hey, you've had a lot of good answers already but i thought i'd add mine.

Sometime people feel that 'knowing someone is going to die' makes you more prepared, but no matter how you look at it death is never easy, either way you will be losing an important and loved person.

I think that there are millions of good things you could do with your Dad- lots of things that will help you make the most of the time he has left, like all the things other people have suggested.

The three most important things i would suggest are

1) making sure he has everything he needs and is well looked after etc,

2) telling him how much you love him, that you are grateful for all he has done for you and that he is the best Dad in the world to you.

3) Take photos of him and of you with him and with family etc.

If he has already made it clear he isn't ready to go then he might be a little frustrated if you spend all your time taking photos and telling him you love him- but you can do these things in a sensitive way!

No matter how many memories you keep/make/ preserve, no matter how many times you tell him you love him, no matter how much use you make of the time you have left, in fact, no matter what you do it will never take away the pain you feel when you lose him. But what it will do is help you to feel like you did everything you could- that you tried as hard as you could and that will mean a lot to you in times to come.

I'm sure you will do everything in your power to make the most of the time you have and at the end of the day when all is said and done you will look back and know that you did all you could, no one will ever be able to take that away from you.

Your Dad knows you love him, but tell him anyway :)

Death never comes at a good time because there is no good time for death to come. It will always hurt, try not to be scared of it because it will happen whether you fear it or not.

People are so scared of things they cannot control. So we try and find ways to make us feel like we have some kind of control over it- we try and plan for it, but often that leaves us feeling like we have failed and when people die we feel guilty for it.

Make the most of your time but don't feel any guilt, none of it is your fault. I'm so sorry life is so hard on you at the moment. I'm terrified of my Dad dying.

Finally, everyone is different, if you disagree with any of my ideas then thats cool :) Make sure you do it the way YOU want, make sure you feel comfortable with what you decide.

Take care,

Abi


Brad C
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spend time with him and make sure you let him know that you love him, have fun with him before his time.


harry
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im so sorry for your dads condition, well the best advice that i can give you is spend if possible all of your time always be there beside him, sleep beside him. i know that is not the rright time to say this but i dont want you to feel the regrets that i feel right now that i hope i did my best when my mom is still alive. Dont forget that anything is possible with god, trust in him, and remember that he knows more than us he has plan for everything, why these happens.


D2X100
Man, I just wanna say... Sorry... You can try having some quality time with your family.


Janie
I'm so sorry to hear that :[ My dad passed away around a week ago. And I'm 13. You're lucky to have had lots of time with him, and the memories will pull you through. Take lots of pictures, talk to him about everything you can remember. Laugh and cry together. Make every moment worth while. Good luck.


TKinn
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losing loved ones is always hard especially when all you can do is sit back and watch them die i speak from the heart my grandpa died last year and the night before he died it was announced for all of us to gather at his house and make sure he knew we all loved him and everything and it was announced several times before that he wouldn't make it through the night so i didn't think much of this time and i didn't go and that was the night he didn't make through and i will never see him again and now i feel so bad. so i guess what i am saying is spend as much time as possible with him and make sure you let him know you love him and don't make the mistake i did i really hope your dads lives longer than expected!


Mary S
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You both have to accept that the end is near and not hedge away from it by pretending.

We are all going to die and although your dad is younger than average, he will have already had a substantial part of his life lived and enjoyed.

Stop thinking about what you want for him and check with him what he wants for himself. It is not unwise to check that he has made a will so that he can leave what he wants to whom he wants and there is no bad feeling in the family when it is too late.

He may want to discuss his funeral arrangements and sort out what he would like to have as a service, who he wants to attend and who he wants to be told.

Death is a fact of life, preparing for the event without dwelling on it is sound sense for everyone of us.


Betty
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Start writing his memoirs with him. Just something you can do that will help your entire family remember him. Talk to him about his childhood and things he used to do growing up. Ask him about his feelings on life and love and whatever. Make the best of your time together just becoming closer to him! Write everything down, or even record it onto DVD, and then transcribe it later. I've already done this with my Mother (who's had various diseases for 20 years). You don't need to worry about it "being obvious" either because he'll appreciate the effort more than anything, and you'll be growing closer than you've ever been!

I truly do wish you and yours all the happiness in the world during your difficult times.


julabasking
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i am sorry


[email protected]
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I'm so sorry to hear this, truly I am, must be really hard.

I wouldn't know either, but maybe, besides the whole fulfilling everything he wants to do list.
Try little things, like going to see him, and watching a movie, call him, and talk for hours, go over and see him, just for no reason, tell him you love him, everyday.
I bet the little things will mean alot to him.

Again, Im so sorry! ;(


alefoxtrot
spend as much time as you can with him


Dave
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I am sorry to hear of your dad's heart problems, I cannot imagine what it would be like for both of you. It sounds like you have a close relationship with him, and you both love each other a lot.

I am envious. I have no such memories of my dad, no good ones at all. Just years of abuse, verbally and physically. He ran away from us, deserted his two sons and a brand new baby girl. He moved to california and started another family. Changed his name, and died in the hospital, my half-brother whom I never met found out about us and called my mom to tell her. I felt nothing. But, if I had a loving relationship with my father...this is what I would do.

I would listen to those that had advised you to spend more time with him. In fact, I would take it further and leave work (use vacation time) and really get to know him.

I would get a video recorder to record his life stories, I would ask him again how he met your mom, what attracted them together. All the stories that made him what he is today. I would also ask him for his recipes from the dishes he cooked while you were growing up (my Grandpa died, and I wish I had some idea on how he cooked my favorite meals).
Whatever he had the energy to do, and wanted to do one last time, I would do it for him (even if I had to take out a loan, to take him to Vegas, or Hawaii...if it was something he wanted to do one last time...I would do it for him)
Again, I cannot imagine what it feels like to care for a father, to ever had a dad that did not hit me, or call me names. So, I hope my answer helps. He is truly a gift, God bless you both.


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