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Health Forum    Cancer
Health Discussion Forum

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 What if I don't have chemotherapy?
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adam h
Why would someone lie about having cancer????????
Recently, I met a guy who I thought was great. He told me that he had stage III colon cancer and for some odd reason, I had this gut feeling that he was lying. That would NEVER be my first reaction..but I felt this way with him. He recently said it spread to the lymph nodes and is now undergoing chemo...been going thru chemo for a few weeks now. I saw him out at a bar drunk/drinking. He has zero hairloss. He also told me the cancer spread to his chin, behind ear, etc and those areas look completely normal. I just have this gut feeling and others are telling me the same.... If someone is undergoing chemo, I thought there would be hairloss? I also thought one would be so weak that going out and drinking lots would be out of the question. Is this possible? Any advice would be appreciated!
                     





Cheryl G
Sounds like this guy has problems that chemo won't fix. Some people lie to get attention. Trust your instincts.


Sam's Mommy
Rating
Chemo can effect people differenty depending on the type of chemo they are recieving. Most poeple are at least very tired nomatter what type they receive.

Has there been significant weight loss, or paleness. that's almost seen in 100% of patient undergoing chemo treatments....


cristelle R
Rating
i knew someone like this.... they lie to get attention... they areattnetion getters and want sympathy and create drama in their life to make it look like they do not live a boring life


believe in miracles
Rating
I don't know why someone would lie about something so awful, probably to get attention. Sounds to me like he's lying to you, I had cancer and it makes me so mad when I hear stories about people making this up, they have NO CLUE what we have had to endure with endless needles, tests, chemo, pain. I wouldn't wish it on anybody but if someone is gonna make it up then maybe they should go through it to see what it's really like, you don't take something like that lightly!


Mike D
Rating
I'm currently on chemotherepy for a stage IV cancer, have been for seven months, have all my hair, am not anemic, and I go drinking sometimes (and sometimes a little too much). Sometimes you feel completely normal and sometimes you feel aweful. Honestly, I'd be pretty angry if someone was asking agressively probing questions about my cancer. I'm more than willing to share information and talk to people about it, but most can tell pretty quick when someone is trying to interrogate them. I'd just trust the guy and be as supportive as you can.


vangorn2000
I wouldn't jump to conclusions right away; people don't always lose their hair when they have chemo. Tiring easily is common, but that doesn't mean he can't drink during his more lucid periods.

Instead of assuming he's lying right away, ask him a few more questions. When did he find out? What symptoms did he have that made him seek a doctor? What is his projected life expectancy? What symptoms does he feel now? What is the difference between the stages I, II, and III of colon cancer? What side effects has he suffered from the treatment? How has he found it best to deal with his condition? What does chemotherapy treatment entail? What hospital takes care of his treatments? Who is his doctor? What support groups have been recommended to him?

His answers to all of this stuff should immediately tell you whether he's just making it up or not, and some of these are easily checked.

Give him the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure.


lo_mcg
Well, some people do, to get attention. And it's been known for people to do it to get money for 'cures' etc. It's a despicable thing to do.

BUT

*not everyone reacts to chemo the same way and a few people sail through it

*some people are even able to carry on working throughout chemo, taking just a few days off each cycle

*not all chemo regimes cause hair loss

*I went to the pub while undergoing chemo, (not the smartest move, should have been avoiding places where I could pick up infection, but sometimes cabin fever gets too much...) and drank alcohol there and at home on occasion

*with three weeks between chemo sessions, people do not usually feel too weak to go out all the time, for me the first 8 days after chemo were the worst

*I know people who went on holiday abroad between two chemo sessions

*most people with cancer look well and 'completely normal' until the last stages of the disease

* because of steroids given to prevent sickness, many, many people put on weight rather than lose it as a result of chemo

*and modern anti-sickness drugs are excellent, it is usual these days to feel nauseous but not throw up; I'm a very 'sicky' person but I never vomited once during chemo

I have no idea of course whether this man is telling the truth, but bear the above in mind and be very, very sure before you confront him or spread any rumours

EDIT: excellent answer above from vangorn2000 - these are very good questions to ask him, but be subtle.


heckenhocker
You can't use hairloss, general appearance and lack of weakness as the guide.

My husband has just finished chemo for stage III colon cancer, spread to one lymph node. The colon cancer chemo drugs only cause hair loss in a small % of people (different drugs for other chemo regimes DO cause hair loss). He has looked completely fit and healthy throughout the whole saga, except immediately after surgery. He's had some really tired days, but about 50% of the time has had the energy to go to work and lead a normal life.

BUT if your gut feel says he's lying, then ask him when he had surgery. Stage III colon cancer would mean surgery either before or after chemo. And if it has now spread to chin, ear etc - that's metastases, and it'd be now stage IV.

Or ask him which chemo drugs were used - say you know someone else going through diagnosis now, and they want to know what drugs meant he could keep his hair. A cancer patient will know what drugs or at least the name of the chemo regime (FOLFOX, XELOX are common regimes for colon cancer, 5FU, AVASTIN, Oxaliplatin are the main drugs).

If you find he is lying, try not to overreact. It's a dumb thing to do, but something must be wrong in his life to lie about having cancer. He'll need some friends to stick by him and see him through....just as he will if he really does have cancer


Silvergirl
Not everyone undergoing chemo loses their hair. It depends on the type and consistency of chemo. Cancer is also not always "seen" if ever. Some people can live a normal life, even defy the disease and go out and do the things they like to do. It's about a will to live, and a will to fight the disease.
None of us can tell you whether this guy is lying or not. If he is, then I pity him because it is no joke, and is a horrible thing to do. But I guess I can't imagine someone would go that far with something like that. My advice is to try to research about it a little and pop some "technical" questions on him and see what he says.


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